Wendy's Blog...the musings of an independent thinker from Utah

My Life Watching Politics on Television

2012-01-24T19:34:00.000-08:00

As I sit down tonight to watch the State of the Union Address, I was thinking of all of the past presidents I have watched on TV in my 42 years.

My very first presidential TV moment was in 1977. I was in first grade at Homewood Heights Elementary School in Creve Coeur, Illinois. My first grade teacher was Mrs. Kluge. In January 1977, the first grade teachers gathered all of us into one of the little classrooms, rolled in a big TV, and had a group of 6 and 7 year olds watch the Inauguration of President Jimmy Carter. It seem boring and torturous at the time, but I remember it. I remember being excited that the president had a little girl, just like me. So, at the age of 6, I remember my first moment with politics and TV.

I remember March 30, 1981. As I left my 5th grade classroom at Willow Elementary School in Pekin, Illinois, the parent of one of my classmates sent the child back in to the school to tell Mr. Muren that the "president had been shot." I spent that entire day glued to the TV at my babysitter's home watching the coverage. I remember Alexander Haig (and yes, I actually remember this) saying, "I am in control here." To get out of the 5th grade, I had to pass an Illinois State Constitution test and a US Constitution test. I had the most amazing 5th grade teacher on the planet, and I knew that Alexander Haig was not one of the people we had discussed when we talked about presidential succession.

I remember President Reagan addressing the nation on January 28, 1986 on the evening of the Space Shuttle disaster. He seemed like a grandfather to me (and he was older than my own grandfather who, ironically, died on the day of the Reagan assassination attempt). I somehow felt better when Reagan spoke. I can see why people have fond memories of him. Memories are funny, though. The Teflon President still seems to have few bad things associated to him. I won't badger him on this post, but perception and reality are quite different.

I was at a school in Texas during Reagan's funeral. At my request, we paused the demonstration for about 45 minutes and watched the funeral live. What can I say? I'm an American first and a Democrat second. He was the president during my growing up years, and there is a soft spot in my heart for "Uncle Ron." I call all of the president's "Uncle." Don't try and understand it. It's a Wendy thing.

I have to tell you, I think I skipped both Nixon's and Ford's funerals. Back to TV memories....

My Clinton memory is not the one you may be thinking of (the "I did not have sex with that woman" memory). 1988 was the first year I could vote. The summer between my senior year in high school and my first year at Bradley University, I lived with my aunt and uncle in Arkansas. I worked my last summer at the famous family Donut Shop. I had a lot of time on my hands that summer, so I took it upon myself to watch the Democratic National Convention. That was the first Clinton speech that I ever heard, and I remember it. I actually remember thinking, "He might be president someday."

My dad told me this past summer that I had actually heard Clinton speak a few years before the DNC convention in 1988. I spent most of my summers in Hot Springs, Arkansas with my dad, and one year on the 4th of July, he took us to see the fireworks that were....wait for it....at the Wal-Mart parking lot. Clinton (according to Dad) spoke at that event. I can't make this crap up....Clinton, Wal-Mart...parking lot. I probably don't remember that because I was so traumatized by the falling firework debris that was LANDING ON SPECTATORS!

I also remember watching TV the day Clinton left office. I have to admit, I cried a bit. Interpret that however you will.

You notice I skipped 41? I have no powerful memories of George H.W. Bush. I have more memories of Dana Carvey's portrayal of Bush than Bush himself. I liked 41; I actually thought he was an OK President. As I sit here thinking about why I have few memories of watching 41 on TV, it probably was because his tenure as president coincided with the four years that I was in college. Quite simply, we didn't have a TV in our dorm room. We had one in the TV lounge, but I didn't do too much TV watching in college. Honestly, it probably has more to do with accessibility to a TV than anything else.

George W. Bush. Oh, he was not the orator. In fact, watching Bush speak made me terribly uncomfortable. My most memorable TV moment with Bush was during the State of the Union in 2003. I was traveling that day, and I was in the Delta Connection Terminal at the Cincinnati Airport. I stood close to one of those TVs mounted from the ceiling and listened to the SOU. I will never forget hearing the famous "16 Words,": "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." I think I said (in my out loud voice), "What the F---?" My gut told me that it wasn't true. I knew that there was NO WAY that this info was making its public debut in the State of the Union. I would like to say thank you to George Bush for putting a fire in me that propelled me all the way through the completion of my thesis. I spent a year of my life writing about why the US invaded Iraq in 2003. We now know that those 16 words were unsubstantiated and false, but back when I was writing my thesis, people still believed.

That is all I have to say about Bush...because I'm trying to be kind (-ish).

Obama. I have a few TV memories of Obama. I remember when he teared up at the DNC when he talked about his grandmother who recently passed away. I was alone in my hotel room in Portland, Oregon in 2008 when he was named the president-elect. I cried and cried and cried as he gave his speech in Chicago. I was so hopeful. I watched the Obama Inauguration with ALL of my kids; they happened to have the day off of school. The PEOPLE....so many people in Washington, D.C. I will never, ever forget that.

I'm grateful for all of my presidents in one way or another. I'm also grateful for the technology of television that brings my president right into my living room, my office, an airport TV, my first grade classroom....

Here's looking forward to 42 more year of presidential TV memories....

Age Matters

2012-01-14T19:26:00.000-08:00

I had two experiences today (Friday, January 13th) that lead me to ponder if "age matters." Matters in what? For what? ...you might ask... I think the examples will provide some insight into what I mean.

I was at the Las Vegas Mc Carran Airport tonight in the boarding area waiting for my flight. A group of co-workers (identifiable by the logo-ed shirts) were standing in the vicinity of where I was sitting. One young man...probably in his mid to late 20s...was making it known that he thinks nothing of Denver QB Tim Tebow. Look. I can't STAND the University of Florida...ever since Urban Meyer left my beloved Utah Utes to chase the almighty dollar and two national championships at Florida, I've been bitter. I've made fun of Tebow in the past, but what Ute hasn't? So, I'm not a lover of Tebow nor do I find a need to defend him.

This logo-shirt wearing man was going on and on and on about how Tebow wasn't an NFL quarterback...how he was overrated...how him having a winning season only perpetuated the inevitable how he was a left handed QB, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah. One of his older co-workers said, "What if he wins the division championship."

"It won't matter," quipped the youngster.

Persisting, the elder co-worker asked, "What if he wins the Super Bowl? Will you still think he's not deserving of returning to Denver as QB?"

The younger man HAD to acquiesce. He said, "If he wins the Super Bowl, I would have to consider changing my mind."

Several minutes later, that same young man (in a group of about 10 co-workers) made his opinion known about another issue. I couldn't hear the topic, but I could tell by his tone that he stood alone in his opinion. I could tell that his seasoned co-workers tolerated him. No one was dumb enough to engage him...it was Friday...early evening...probably after they'd worked the convention floor all week.

As I thought about this young man, I thought about myself. That used to be me. Sometimes (much rarer these days) it still is...when I'm really, really passionate about something. I started with my company when I was 27, and back in the day, I thought I knew it all. I thought my opinions were so important that they had to be heard, defended and spoken again and again until I got what I wanted. I feel so silly when I think back to those days. So, I asked myself? Is it age? I think so. I think age and maturity change those behaviors. The logo-ed shirt wearing guy will either chill out as he ages or he will probably not be in that organization for too terribly long.

I just kept thinking as I observed his behavior, "He's so young."

On a closed (invite only) FB group, people were having a threaded discussion about a personal topic. Unfortunately, it was the WORST kind of topic...one that combined religion AND politics. It's kind of a support group for liberal Latter Day Saints. Several members of the group rallied to defend and support a person who made post to the group. Basically, the poster extended a hand of fellowship at church to wish a woman "Merry Christmas," and she took umbrage with the greeting...left a note in his mailbox telling him she felt violated and wanted nothing to do with him or his family.

In the middle of this thread, a 17 year old girl chimed in. Part of the thread had gotten out of hand, and there had been some completely unnecessary comments by a few in the thread. The girl, however, chose to say that the entire thread was stupid...and basically tried to dismiss the conversation by declaring it so. That didn't go over really well with the people who had been contributing to the conversation...myself included.

Does age matter? I think it does. FB is tricky. It's even trickier when you are part of a group of this type. If I don't agree with a thread on this group, I typically stay out of it. Alternately, I would use a different tactic to express my opinion. Calling out a thread as "stupid" was not cool. I actually think it showed her age and experience. I say this because I have a 17 year old. I could see her thinking (and writing) the EXACT same thing. Was the thread stupid? I think it was weird...but not stupid.

This caused a FIRESTORM on the thread...some invoking a the "she's young and doesn't know" card. Some who were really condescending about her age coupled with her comment. Then there were others who jumped in to defend her. Then the poor girl...trying to make it right...kept saying more things that made it worse. Does age matter? Well, "older" doesn't mean that you have more experience or that your opinion is more important or that you should belittle a young person who inserts herself into a conversation. However, I don't believe that if she had some experience...and yes, if she were a bit older that she would have jumped in as she did.

As Mariah (my 17 year old step daughter) gets closer to turning 18 years old and as she gets closer to graduation, I can see in her how ready, ready, ready she is to move on. Been there myself. I can't think of an 18 year old that I know who hasn't been there. When we are 18, we are so ready to move on, but we are so limited by our life experience. We think we know what we want and how to get it, but we don't. We can't. Who in the hell knows what they want when they are 18? I find it CRAZY that we ask 18 year olds to pick a major (in college). How can any of us know what we want when we are that age? We can't? We act out of desperation and motivation to move on.

So, does age matter? It can. I suppose that experience probably matters more to me. You tend to receive more life experience the older that you get. It is a vicious circle. I, for one, know that in my 42 years I continue to learn and grow....I think it's God's meanest reality that when you are older, wiser and have so much life experience that your body gives out on you and you are able to do less and less. I suppose as I get older each year, I think about those kinds of things. I look at my neighbors who are in their 80s and 90s...I can't IMAGINE the life experience and wisdom that they have. Does age matter? I think I have to conclude that in some ways, it does.

Love Thy Neighbor

2012-01-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

I came down to my office tonight to do some work/some other stuff. As usual, I popped in a DVD to serve as background noise. Tonight I chose a few episodes of "Big Love," one of my favorite shows. I grabbed a few diet cokes from the mini-fridge and sat at my desk. I noticed a hand-written note from one of my neighbors. It was short thank you note. The note, the episode of Big Love...it was screaming out for a thoughtful blog post. So, here it is...

My neighbors two doors down (to the south of us) are polygamists. (Let the Utah jokes commence.) I lived in Salt Lake City for 10 years and to the best of my knowledge never met a practicing polygamist. I met a few whose parents *had* practiced but now they were *out of polygamy.* But when we moved to Sandy, Utah (again, the bizarre irony that I live in the city depicted in "Big Love") almost 6 years ago, we were a bit surprised that we had polygamist neighbors. Part of me was ecstatic that we had "diversity" in our neighborhood (and you should have seen how thrilled we were that we also have gay neighbors!) I mean this in a non-sarcastic, non patronizing way. Utah is known for its homogeneity, and to know that we were not in an all-LDS neighborhood was refreshingly surprising to me.

I want to tell you about my neighbors and how I view them. First of all, their last name is Bennett. I don't want to keep referring to them as "my polygamist neighbors." Second, our neighbors are not followers of Warren Jeffs. They don't wear prairie dresses and have braids. They look like normal people.

During our first week in our new home, we were baking something or other and were missing and ingredient. I sent Dominique (8 years old at the time) around to our neighbors with a measuring cup to find the ingredient. She knocked on the Bennett's door, and one of their daughters reluctantly opened it. She is about Dom's age, and suspiciously asked, "What do you want?" Dom replied, "Some flour?" We had the impression that no one had ever knocked on their door and asked for flour. They had some (because most normal people do...unless you've just moved and not stocked back up), and they gladly gave us some. That was the beginning of our neighborly "relationship." I use that term loosely because it's a distant relationship--not fraught with common neighborly niceties.

When our kids were younger, their two daughters (approximate age of Dom and Elle) would kind of linger close to the house when we were outside. We invited them to do yard work with us. We invited them to run in the sprinkler with us. We invited them to have food when we were cooking. We were always inviting them. They are shy, and they keep to themselves. But, they don't have loud parties. The cops have never been over there. And they have HAPPY kids!

I remember one time saying to the kids, "We let them be as long as the kids are not in danger." A few summers ago Elle and her friend came rushing down to my office on a warm summer day screeching about one of the little ones being in their van with the windows rolled up. Thankfully, they know that it is bad for a child to be in a hot car with the windows up! The friend was insistent that we call the police. I said, "Go knock on the front door, and let her mom know that she's in the car. If no one answers, open the door and let the child out." Can you imagine the news headlines? Ugh. They told Mrs. Bennett, and all was well. See, easy peasy. No need to get all exercised and excited over nothing.

We've noticed small improvements. They wave at us when we pass them on the street (seriously, this is a big deal). They have joined in 4th of July festivities when we had a party in our culdesac. They let us mow their lawn for them the year they didn't have a lawn mower. They have begun to decorate more for the holidays, and I was so happy this year that the little ones went Trick-or-Treating. They have accepted old furniture that we were going to donate anyway.

My intellectual curiosity wants to know all about what they believe, how they live their lives and ask them a million questions. I know, however, that this would not be productive. I don't profess to understand polygamy. I mean, I understand it, but...you know what I mean. It is not a belief system that is in my schema nor one which I ever would embrace. That doesn't mean, however, that I can't love my neighbors...accept them for who they are...let them be...try to serve them in a way that is not offensive and makes them know that we care about them.

Each year for Christmas, we try to do something for them. This year I enlisted the help of another neighbor to do recon and find out what they might need/want. We decided on simple gifts: a nice fruit basket, some hats and gloves, a new basketball net for their hoop, a new basketball and some coupons to Red Box (Yes, they watch movies!) Every year we receive a nice thank you note from Mrs. Bennett. That was the note on my desk today. One time, they even brought US a basket of peaches!

There are so many misconceptions about polygamy. This post is less about polygamy and more about loving whoever your neighbor is. I do, however, want people to know that the polygamy I've witnessed in not like "Big Love." It is also not like Colorado City or the XYZ Ranch in Texas--those followers of Warren Jeffs. It's just not all like that. My neighbors keep to themselves. It is obvious to me that on Saturday nights they have a big family gathering. Their kids go to school. Their kids are well-behaved. They are polite to us. The thing that impresses me the most is that all of the Bennett kids have great big smiles....especially the littlest ones. This is a very different image from those you may have seen on TV.

So, hopefully, next time you see something about Warren Jeffs on TV, just know that all of those who practice plural marriage are not like that. Some of them live quite lives in Sandy, Utah. The words of Luke come to mind.

Luke 10:27: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy ^aheart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

To that, I can only say, "Amen!"

I don't do resolutions well

2012-01-04T13:17:00.000-08:00

I quit making New Year's Resolutions about 20 years ago when I found it was the quickest way to set myself up for failure. 2011 was hectic...too hectic. I'm slowing down the pace for 2012 and trying to enjoy moments more. Will I still be traveling a lot? Hopefully! When I travel that means I'm working, and when I'm working, that means I'm increasing my earning potential, and when I'm increasing my earning potential, I can work toward paying off debt and doing nice things for our home and family. So, for me, traveling is a good thing! Plus, I really like my job...so being gainfully employed is always a top priority.

I'm going to take fewer classes...MUCH fewer. If it takes me an extra year to finish my PhD, so be it. I don't want to crawl down to my basement office every single weekend to read, research, write and study. I want to go to Elle's softball games and Dominique's Lacrosse games. I want to spend time with Layla (and not have to have her be brought down to my office just to say "hi."). I want to figure out how to get the EFFING colony of moles out of my back yard so that we can plant grass and actually enjoy our .33 acres back there. I want to go on more dates with my husband and spend more time just talking and hanging out.

I over did it last year (and part of that was out of my direct control). This year, I may just say no to a few more requests of my time and delegate more in the organizations that I am part of.

As my parents get older, Dean's parents get older, our kids get older....I figure I'm about 1/2 way to dead. I've got a lot of life to live, and I don't want to be spinning so quickly that I miss the things that are important to me: my family, my friends and my down time.

Are those New Year resolutions? Nah. I can be successful at these objectives...even if I get off course, I can get right back on again.

Happy New Year, everyone!

On being single...

2012-01-01T20:51:00.000-08:00

Lest you think this post is about me being suddenly single, it is not. I'm happily married. I know this is an odd post for New Year's Day, but it is on my mind. This post is about the paradox of being a Latter-Day Saint, single woman.

I joined the LDS Church when I was 20 years old, and the one thing that "hooked me" was the concept of eternal families and the idea that I could be married in the temple for time and all eternity. No other religion has that. Check. Go ahead. You won't find that anywhere else. Of course, that was not the only draw for me, but it was definitely one of the things that tipped the scale for the Mormons. (I know I'm not supposed to used that moniker, but most people still relate to it, so I use it anyway.)

I have to tell you that being an LDS convert is an interesting cultural experience (to say the VERY least). I felt like I was not a "full" member because I had not served a mission. I knew I would serve a mission from the very beginning of my membership in the Church. I had decided that if I knew this was "true," I needed to share it with others. Going on a mission was always in my plan. It was quite surprising to my mother, but...that is a different story for a different time.

I went on a mission, and I came home in glory (literally). I was treated like a hero. Part of the reason is because I served in war-torn former-Yugoslavia. I did TV interviews, radio shows, I spoke at local high schools. I spoke in my ward, in my stake conference, I traveled with the high councilman. Seriously, I was really treated like a war hero. Still, I felt like I wasn't fully a member because I wasn't married. Honestly.

If you are not LDS, it is impossible to understand this. The LDS Church is all about families. Marriage precedes family (at least it *should* according to LDS Doctrine). I would sit in church week after week and hear lessons about being a good wife (they don't do that any more) and a good homemaker (they don't have those lessons any more, either) and hear talks about eternal families. Week, after week, after week, after week. If you're not in the married with children club, you start to feel like a second class citizen VERY quickly. There were times I would come home from church feeling completely heart-broken instead of edified. I so desperately wanted to be married. I thought I would then be a "full" member (my term, not anyone else's term).

So, I moved to Utah where the chances of finding a suitable LDS mate were greatly increased. I also came here because 1) I enrolled at the University of Utah in the secondary education certification program; 2) I had a job; 3) I had a place to live. I made a calculated decision to move here, and I have NEVER, EVER looked back with regret. I really like living in Utah...for a whole host of reasons.

I met some of my choicest and dearest friends in my first singles ward in Utah (you know who you are!) I was 25, and I felt that I was practically an old maid. I found, however, friendship in strong LDS women who were my age...who were educated...who were funny...who were confident! I love you guys!!! I still felt pressure to get on with my life and get married (as if being married was the only important qualifier that would help me "get on with my life").

When I turned 30, I was still unmarried, and that was the cut off age for being in the young adult "single ward." So, I decided that it was time for me to co-mingle with those in a family ward. I LOVED my downtown wards! I love downtown SLC. I didn't feel nearly the outcast in SLC as I did when I lived in Illinois or in Farmington (the worst 6 months of my life...no offense to the Bensons...it wasn't you...) I came into my own in the family ward, and I decided that I would not let my marital status define me. When I was 30, I enrolled in my Master's program. I would not sit around waiting to get married. I was going to live my life for me. I already had my great job that I have now; I was lucky to snag that when I was only 27. When I turned 30, I bought my first ever brand new car: a Ford Focus that still runs. In May 2003, I bought my first ever home: a three bedroom, two bath condo in the heart of SLC.

In June 2003, I met Dean (online). In August 2003, I was married.

Here's the dirty little secret. Marriage doesn't solve any problems. If anything, it only creates a whole bunch of new ones. By problems, I don't mean that all is bad. I mean that two people joining their lives is complex. Add to that 4 additional children...an ex-wife....and you have a lot of complexities....and that's just the beginning! I wanted for SO LONG to be married and to be accepted as a "real" Latter-Day Saint (again, these are my words...my mindset). I found out that all of the married people are really just putting on a pretty good front and keeping up the show for the sake of the doctrine and message of happy families.

The truth? Marriage is hard. On any given day...that married couple who presents a pretty good front at church is going through something that you nor I could ever understand...nor do we want to. Sure, there are some wonderful times in marriage and family can be blissful. But, life is life. Sometimes it's really, really hard. There is pain and sorrow coupled with the joys and celebrations. They don't tell you that in the LDS marketing literature. Any why would they?

Why am I writing about all of this? Today...on New Year's Day???

I just got off of the phone with an old friend. I was filling out some Happy New Year cards, and her name popped up on my list. I decided to pick up the phone and give her a call. My last call with her was shortly before Thanksgiving. I invited her to have Thanksgiving with us, but she politely declined saying that she was spending T-Day with her new boyfriend. Well, okay then! I was really happy for her!

Our conversation tonight quickly lead to her dating life. She and the boyfriend had broken up. My friend is quickly approaching 40, and she really wants to be married. She's LDS since birth, and this whole marriage thing has been part of her indoctrination for her entire life. It's such a tortured life to be an unmarried LDS woman who really WANTS to be married. Trust me. I know. I was there. To be perfectly honest, there are days that I LONG for the single days....where I had so much less responsibility...could take naps on my couch....in peace and quiet.....there is much that I long for. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

I feel for my friend. I've been where she's been. As much as I try and tell her that "it's not all that," it still is. LDS single women can get to the point where they resent men, resent God, resent the the Church for its restrictions.

I don't have any wonderful advice. I will say this. I love my husband, and I'm grateful that he loves me. He may be the only man on the planet who would put up with some of my crap. I have learned so much being married to him, and I am sure that I will continue to learn even more. No marriage is perfect. I think marriage takes a lot of commitment and a lot of work. I believe that if two people want it to work and are willing to do whatever it takes, that it can work.

It is tough to be LDS and single, but I would say that it is a different set of challenges to be LDS and married. For all of my friends (single, widowed, divorced, married), I hope that you are able to love who you are, find peace in your lives and know what it means to be happy.

Been a bit busy...

2011-12-22T11:33:00.000-08:00

This year has been so, so, so, so, so busy! I've neglected my blogging. I've neglected my digital scrapbooking. I've neglected my family. I've neglected my home. So, what have I been doing?

Well....as part of the requirements for the University of Utah Graduate School, I had to take two consecutive semesters of full time coursework. So, in Spring and Fall, I was full time in the PhD program. It was three classes a semester...which doesn't sound like a lot, but at the PhD level, it is a ton of work. I learned a lot, and I survived. I'm done with that now, and I look forward to getting back to a bit more of a "normal" schedule for this year.

I'm taking one course in the spring, and trust me, that will seem like a cake walk after this past semester. For those who want to know "how much longer I have," that is a difficult question to answer. It's not like being an undergrad where you have 124 hours to complete and a relatively regimented curriculum. In a PhD program, you must complete your coursework (5 more classes to go for those who are counting). You then must study for, take and pass your comprehensive exams. I will study for several months. After that, I have to write a dissertation proposal and finish my research and writing for my dissertation. That is the great unknown...depending on the research topic. So, I'm shooting for 2015 or 2016. I know that seems like forever, but it's not.

I have a wonderful job that is always throwing me new challenges and opportunities. I have three teens still at home. I have a lovely grandbaby. I have a lot to keep me busy in addition to the PhD work.

Did I mention that I am on three volunteer boards (like I don't have enough to do!) I was honored to be asked to sit on the Alumni Board of Directors for my alma mater, Bradley University. This requires regular travel back to Illinois for board meetings. The board is a wonderful group of people who really care about the university, and it's a great honor to be a part of it! I also work with my local PTA...one of my favorite, favorite jobs in the whole world. I'm also on our Council level PTA (one level up from local). This is more administrative than anything else, and all in all, it doesn't take too much time. My season heats up with PTA next month because I'm the Legislative VP and our legislature meets for 10 crazy weeks starting in January. I'm amazed at how accessible our state legislators are. I'm sure there is more to come on that front.

My husband and kids have tolerated me this past year. Let's just say that sometimes I don't manage stress well. I researched and wrote SO MUCH this year. I haven't added them up yet, but I know that I cranked out well over a hundred pages (probably closer to 150 pages) of original work. That is a lot.

In addition to my academic, volunteer and work stuff...we had a new grandbaby born. We took a major family vacation to Arkansas and Tennessee (WAY FUN!), Dean and I went to Jamaica for my dear friend's wedding, Dean and the kids went on a road trip to New Mexico. Dean's grandpa passed away. Dean's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been battling that. Dean was released from the bishopric.

Yes, we have been busy. But through it all, we are so very, very blessed. We know the origin of all our blessings is our God! We are so thankful for our temporal and spiritual blessings! We're looking forward to a blessed new year!

What Thanksgiving is All About

2011-11-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

I don't want this post be sound self-aggrandizing because that is not my intent. I had an idea, I sold some people on the idea, and a whole bunch of people executed on the idea. So, although I had the idea....I don't take credit for the success of this project.

After I went to the Utah PTA Convention this year, I talked to my friend, Stephanie, who is the President about how we should start a student association. In the middle and high schools, PTA can be a PTSA. She agreed, and we went to work. I'm not going to lie...this project has taken more thought and time than I imagined that it would. But because Stephanie is so passionate about it, it's been very successful.

Each month we've had an after school meeting for our students, and we have about 40 kids attend each time.

For the month of November, I thought we should do a service project. We talked about different options. We thought we could get a bus and take kids to work at the Utah Food Bank. We looked into group service opportunities through United Way. Then I suggest that we have a food drive....but not just any food drive. At Mount Jordan Middle School in Sandy, Utah, we have almost 50% of our students on reduced or free lunch. This measure is significant because it is related to parents' income. We have some families in need, and we didn't have to look too far to find who had the greatest need.

So, here was what we did. We worked with administrators to identify 10 families in our school who were in need. Our Vice Principal, Matt Watts, was a ROCK STAR! He placed countless calls and relentlessly tracked people down. We wanted people to 1) agree to accept the donation; and 2) agree to pick it up at the school at a designated time. We didn't want the PTA moms to know anything about the families in need. We'd considered delivering the food in person, but working through the administrators provided privacy and confidentiality for the families. Matt was calling people all the way up until the day of, and I know that he stayed at the school until 6:00 PM on Tuesday when the last packet was picked up.

On Monday, November 14th, we had an assembly, and we "kicked off" our food drive. The homeroom classes had a competition (which made it more fun). In 5 short days of donating, we had enough food to feed 11 families (our final count). We got private donations for pies, turkeys, potatoes and rolls.

On Tuesday (the last day of school before the break), we got our PTSA kids to stay AFTER school. We sorted food, decorated boxes, filled the boxes and put a craft project (made by the kids) and nice plastic silverware (with a homemade napkin holder) in the boxes. We also made sure that each family had a roasting pan, some Stove Top and gravy.

I was blown away by the support. The PTA moms showed up in full force to sort food and manage certain groups of kids. Countless students and teachers donated food. Based on personal calls from Stephanie, we had 11 turkeys donated. And the best thing....the kids really love doing this kind of thing. In fact, when we asked them the kind of things that they wanted to do, they mentioned that they WANTED to do a service project....WANTED. These are 7th, 8th and 9th graders. Can I tell you how happy that makes me!

In my political behavior class, we've read literature on political socialization, political participation and involvement. You know, I firmly believe that kids WANT to help. They just have to be given an opportunity to do so. I talked with Dominique a few times about how this food was staying in our Mount Jordan family....for those who really needed it. She got the significance of that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a donation to the Utah Food Bank. However, I think when the kids know that their efforts are benefiting people they know (even though they don't know who), it means more to them.

In all of the things that I've done and been a part of, I'm really proud of this Student Association that we've started in our PTSA. We are inclusive...no requirement to get in (except annual dues, and we have scholarships for those who can't afford the $4.00). We respect the kids and their ideas. When we ask them how they want THEIR organization to be, and we are amazed at the great ideas they have! We should all give our kids more credit! Who knows how these experiences might influence a kid at a later time in life. I firmly believe that we have to model the behavior for them or they won't know how to participate in meaningful ways. Sure, they get this in their families and churches, but they spend MOST of their waking hours during the week at their school. It is here where they can make a difference and where, I believe, they want to make a difference.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!!

Oh, how I loved the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics

2011-11-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

In a few short months, we will be celebrating the TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the Olympics in SLC. What an AMAZING time! I was never so proud to be from Salt Lake City as I was during the Olympics. We really got that one right! I lived downtown in SLC at the time...I mean right in the thick of things, and it was awesome.

I remember that I got back from a trip one night, and as I was driving home, I thought, "Why is everyone waiting for the bus this late at night?" They weren't waiting for the bus....they were waiting for the Olympic torch to pass by. I high tailed it home, dumped off my luggage and ran out the front door of my apartment complex. I stood with my neighbors and cheered as a runner ran on MY street. Amazing!

I have so many wonderful, wonderful memories of the 2002 Olympics. My office is a mini-shrine to those games. I have a big picture of downtown all decked out, some commemorative photos of winter sports taken in historic Utah geological landmarks and an abstract picture that was part of the arts displays. People who haven't experienced an Olympics first hand might not even be aware of the arts movement that is part of the Olympics.

On Monday, our local middle school kicked off our "Student Success Week." We do this every year, and it's is such an important program to our PTA. We try to educate our 12, 13 and 14 year olds about their options for college and careers. This program is run by one of our most passionate and dedicated PTA moms. This year, we were able to get Olympic Gold Medalist, Derek Parra, to speak to our middle school students.

Most of them were too young to remember the games, but his story was one that is timeless and relevant to all age groups. I really can't do his story justice, so if you have a few minutes, click>> here<< to read about his life. What was relevant to our school's demographic was this....Derek grew up poor. His parents were divorced. He is a Mexican-American (his self-description). Right there, this describes a large part of our student body. He grew up at the rollerskating rink trying to pinch pennies to buy a snack after he paid for his admission and rental...again....most of the kids at our middle school have frequented our local roller rink. They love it! It's kind of a dive, but who cares!

He talked about growing up with his dad and his brother and not having sports equipment and having to "make due" with what they could come up with. He talks about eating Mac 'n Cheese.

When he was 17, he moved to Florida to train with a real skating coach. He paid room and board and quickly learned the ways of life. His coach was not going to give him a free ride. He had to pay rent, pay for his own food...and ride everywhere on his bicycle. He found out on day 1 that the practice facility was 32 miles away. He found out shortly thereafter that he had to get a J-O-B...so he did at McDonald's. He had no money during the first two weeks that he waited for his paycheck, so he ate the "aged out" sandwiches out of the garbage.

His story, however, is not one of sadness. It is one of hope and perseverance. He told the kids that he has only "won" a couple of times in his life but that his failures taught him so much.

In 2002, the world watched as he broke the record in the Men's 1500 Speed Skating event. The world smiled and cried as he jumped up and down on the podium and received his Gold medal. Derek is a great patriot, and he spoke openly about his experiences with 9/11 and his patriotic feelings about being an Olympian, winning the Gold medal and singing...with great pride...the National Anthem.

I cried at the assembly. I'm guessing (although I don't know for sure) that some teachers probably did to. He is such a NICE guy. Honestly, we chatted it up before the assembly, and he was totally normal and approachable. He let the kids HANDLE his Olympic medals: one Silver and one Gold. He showed the video of his winning race, and the kids all clapped and hooted for him.

Can I tell you how awesome it is to be part of a PTA organization that can bring these experiences to our kids! How awesome it is to be a resident of Utah where I experienced that proverbial "once in a lifetime" Olympic Games in MY town. How awesome it is to know that the spirit of the Olympics is alive and well and remembered. And how awesome it is to know men like Derek Parra make a difference in the world.

Can we call her "Mom"?

2011-11-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was at a PTA meeting at the middle school, and our meeting ended about the same time school ended. Dominique came into the teacher's lounge where we were meeting, and she must have called me by name. One of the PTA ladies asked, "Your daughter calls you by your first name?" I paused for a second (mainly because I hadn't heard her refer to me by name) and said, "Oh, yes, she is my step-daughter." Honestly, I think that the woman thought I was a progressive mom having my kids call me by my first name, but that was not the case.

All of my kids call me Wendy. This is my preference. When Dean and I married, the kids were ages 5, 7, 9 and 11. Dominique and Elle both asked Dean, "Can we call her 'Mom'?" Wow. That question was an interesting one for me. I had a step-mother (and still do), and I always called her by her first name. To me, the title of Mom is somehow special and sacred. I know that may sound silly, but I only had one mom, and Kathy was my step-mom.

So, when the girls asked if they could call me mom, out of deference to their mother, I said that I thought they should call me Wendy. It works out well for us, and I think it is the right thing to do. I'm now "Grandma Wendy" to little Layla, and I have my kids call my mom "Grandma Rosemary" (mainly because they have a bunch of grandparents.) They call my dad "Grandpa Gene" and my step-mom "Grandma Kathy."

One time a few years ago, the kids' great-grandfather pulled me aside and said, "I really think you should have the kids call you "mom"." He meant well. His point was that I was "more of a mother to them than their birth mother ever was." I know that. They know that. We don't need to go confusing everything by instituting title changes that would just complicate things.

If someone says, "Give this to your mom" or "will you tell your mom....," they don't correct that person and blurt out "She's my STEP-MOM." However, when they introduce me to people (their friends, for instance) they will say, "This is my step-mom, Wendy." I'm cool with all of that. I go out of my way not to refer to myself (to them) as their "mom." I refer to myself at their parent.

Why do I do this? Well, part of it is because I know how much it would have hurt my mother to call another woman "mom." Part of it is that I really love my own step-mother and didn't need to call her "mom" to have a great relationship with her. Part of it is that out of deference for their mother, I think it is the right thing to do. And if you know me, you know how little I think of their birth mother these days. However, that doesn't diminish the fact that the *is* their biological mother and for a period in their lives *was* a great mom to them.

I've never felt that I needed to be validated with a title. I know who I am to them. I am their mom.

Angels All Around Us

2011-11-06T23:56:00.000-08:00

I was up late tonight scanning some family pictures, and I came upon a few pictures from a trip that I made with my mom and my nephew to the Lincoln Memorial in Springfield, Illinois.

Wooohooo...look at that hair...and don't I look oh, so attractive in those jeans. My nephew, Cory, is probably 11 or 12 in this picture...so that puts this at 8 or 9 years ago...definitely before I was married. I was surprised that Cory had never been to the Lincoln's Tomb. You touch his nose for good luck...which also means that a billion germs are on that schnoz.

As we went into the actual tomb where Lincoln, Mary Todd and three of their children, I told Cory that you had to speak in a whisper out of respect for the dead. He understood, and he was very respectful. This is him with his serious face in front of a statute of Lincoln.

As you can see from the top photo, there are grand staircases that allow you access to the top of the monument. We climbed to the top of the stairs and while we were up there, Cory said, "Do you hear that Aunt Wendy?"

Me: "Hear what?"
Cory: "Zoom, Zoom. There are angels all around us right now. Can't you hear them?"
Me: Silence.

You know, I didn't hear or feel the angels, but I firmly believe that he did. The oddest thing was that he had never, ever said anything like that to me before under any circumstance. Is there any doubt in my mind that there are angels that guard Lincoln's Tomb. Not one whit or tittle of doubt.

While you were sleeping...

2011-10-07T00:34:00.000-07:00

I love that movie with Sandra Bullock. I think I've watched it 29 times (give or take). As I was watching Nightline's coverage on Amanda Knox trying to integrate back into normal life, they explained all of the things that have happened since she was arrested/in jail/went through two trials. They showcased pop culture happenings like twitter, the introduction of the iPad and Justin Bieber.

It reminded me a bit of when I was gone on my LDS mission. I left the "world" behind on September 21, 1992, and I re-entered the "world" on February 12, 1994. From November 1992-February 1994 I worked as a missionary in Croatia, Serbia and Hungary. As part of our commitment, we do not watch television, listen to the radio, read magazines. We had a strict requirement that we couldn't listen to any music that was created after 1900 (so, classical music it was...and I still love classical music!) You focus entirely on your missionary work, and there is not time for those things. Plus, I couldn't have understand TV in Croatian even if I tried.

When I came back to Washington, Illinois, I was in reverse culture shock. That is the only way I can think to describe it. Of course, I was not completely ignorant of things that were going on. For example, I knew that Clinton had been elected (I had cast an absentee ballot while in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah. I have never, ever missed voting in a Presidential election.) I knew about the Branch Davidian/ATF debacle in Waco, Texas. I knew about the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in 1993. In both of the aforementioned cases, we got word from our leaders to be extra cautious while out and about, to not speak English...because one is never really aware in domestic or foreign terrorist situations who else might be targeted.

But...if I am playing a trivia game, and I can't identify the year something happened...and I know that I should know...it almost always happened in 1992 or 1993. On NBC Dateline, they used to have that "What year did this happen?" quiz as they went to commercial. I guarantee if it was in my lifetime and if I couldn't remember the date that it was almost always 1993. Power of deduction.

For example...all of these movies were released in 1993:
Jurassic Park
Mrs. Doubtfire
The Fugitive
Schindler's List
The Firm
Indecent Proposal
Cliff Hanger
Sleepless in Seattle
Philadelphia
The Pelican Brief

I missed them all. Actually, Schindler's List was the first film I saw in the theater when I returned from my mission. Poor, Melissa (my dear friend). She wept through most of the movie, and I just got really pissed off. Having just returned from former-Yugoslavia where Slobodan Milosevic was openly advancing the genocide, I was pissed that people were weeping over Schindler's List but doing NOTHING to stop the massacres in Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia. It was beyond my comprehension (and in some ways still is).

I have now seen almost all of them, but I remember when my friend, Ken, suggested we watch Sleepless in Seattle on VHS, and he was stunned that I hadn't seen it.

Top 10 selling albums of the year:

The Bodyguard Soundtrack
Breathless by Kenny G
Unplugged by Clapton
Janet by Janet Jackson
Some Gave All by Billy Ray Cyrus
The Chronic by Dr. Dre
Pocket Full of Kryptonite by Spin Doctors
Ten by Pearl Jam
The Chase by Garth Brooks
Core by Stone Temple Pilots

I went against the wishes of my mission president and bought a black market copy of Clapton's Unplugged. I love that album! Being out and about amongst "the people," I heard a lot of music. I was aware of the Stone Temple Pilots and the movie "The Bodyguard." The young people I worked with talked about what they were seeing, doing..and listening to.

Apparently there was a big ass flood in the Midwest in 1993. I found out about it sometime in 1994 when I drove from Peoria to Kansas City.

This might sound really silly, but I had no idea that Letterman had moved to CBS. When I left in 1992, he was on NBC after Johnny Carson (whose last show I watched with my mom in May of 1992).

So much happens in any one year. It is a little alarming to learn what you missed when you weren't paying attention. I can't imagine being Amanda Knox and being propelled four years into the future. I had a hard time adjusting after only 18 months; I just can't imagine what the world would look like after 4 years!

There has to be a better way...

2011-09-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

I cried every single day last week, and just when I was convinced that I was brave enough to manage September 11, 2011, I cried some more. It was a lone soldier on Sunday who brought me to tears.

As a family, we went to Healing Field in Sandy, Utah. We have done this every year since we have lived in Sandy. It is a moving tribute to the victims of 9/11. This year a local artist made this permanent memorial. This soldier stood in front of the memorial and played "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes. Elle and Dom were sitting on a bench right when he began to play, and I came to sit beside them. Elle started crying, then I started crying...then Dom was crying. We couldn't hold back. It was so moving. Near the end of the song, he held a note for an extra long time. He finished the song, and he turned away with tears in his eyes, and he was visibly shaken. I hesitate for about a second, and I handed the camera to Dom. I walked up to him and put my arm around him. I said, "Are you OK?" He said, "I barely held it together." I didn't know what else to say, so I said, "Thank you. Thank you." Then I let him be. Goodness. I'm glad that week is over. My heart broke a bit each day as I remembered with vivid recollection what happened to me that week...and as I remembered what happened to our country.

So, I *get* that we had to make some sacrifices to make sure that we are all a bit safer. I really do get it. I flew just days after 9/11. It was terrifying. I had anxiety attacks for several months after the attacks, and I had to make a conscious choice to overcome them, or I would be incapable of doing my job. I get that we had to tighten security at our nation's airports.

I remember my first flight out of SLC after the attacks. The airport had armed National Guardsmen. I cried. I was so sad. This was not the America that I knew and loved. I was so saddened. I know that things may never revert back to the way they were, and I'm not suggesting they should. I remember when I first had to take off my shoes. I was in Roanoke, Virginia. I was again frustrated. We then had to put liquids in little containers and put them in little bags.

We as Americans have sacrificed so much...more than most people are even aware of if you consider the implications of the Patriot Act. It's quite upsetting to me, but I still *get it.*

Today, however, there was something that I don't *get,* and I don't accept. I hit one of those rare times at the airport when there were very few travelers. I saw an elderly couple with their adult daughter on the other side of security (just outside of the machines...and collecting items on the conveyor belt." The elderly woman was clearly on a medical transport. She was belted into a chair, and she was barely mobile. Her husband had a walker. Security had to pat her down. Her daughter had to take her mother's shoes off and alter some of her clothing so that she could be patted down in a way that is completely undignified. Their adult daughter started crying because she was so frustrated (although she didn't talk back or verbally complain). The TSA agents were completely compassionate and understanding and almost apologetic.

There has to be a better way to manage certain situations. I understand that the TSA has guidelines, and I understand that if you start to make exceptions that you could potentially compromise the integrity of the system overall. I get it; I really do. HOWEVER, in part because of what happened in Salt Lake City, the TSA has changed how they search and pat down children. With the elderly...especially those who are wheelchair bound, can we not explore other ways to make sure that security standards are maintained but still keep ones dignity intact?

I see so many elderly travelers. Most are able-bodied. Many are not. I can only imagine that they are not traveling for leisure (especially when they are so incapable of easily walking). Travel can be so stressful. Why not find some way...perhaps through policy and security changes to revere this generation in our society, enable them to travel AND make sure that security protocols remain intact.

I don't have the answers, but I know there is a better way. There must be a better way.

Trying to do my part.....

2011-08-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

I just started my fourth year in PTA at Mount Jordan Middle School. It's been such a great experience! I'm sad that NEXT year is my last year. Yes, my youngest will have her last year in middle school next year, and I've made the decision that this is when my engagement will end with local PTA. I am hoping that I can still help in an advisory/council level if they need me, but I feel so strongly that I am needed most in middle schools.

So...in my last two years of PTA at MJMS, one of the things that I want to do is start a STUDENT association affiliated with the PTSA. In middle and high schools, students can be invited to participate. I can't think of a better thing for students to do than participate in their own school. I've been working with our PTSA President, Stephanie who is just so supportive of the idea and is involved in the creation of this new association. We've also had the support of some great PTSA parents!

One of the things we did was budget $1000.00 for this project; this is the largest line item in our PTSA budget. I want to keep a running total of all expenses for the year so that we can go out for a sponsor in future years. So, we have some money to work with.

Our primary goal? Involvement. Today we asked each student to sign up for one or more committees. The committees include: Memory Book, Reflections, Red Ribbon Week, Student Success Week, PTSA Activities, Teacher Appreciation Week, Publicity, Labels/Box Tops. We asked the kids what *they* want to do for the Reflections assembly. If you're not familiar with Reflections, you should be. Click here to read about this awesome program supported by PTA.

We want the kids to make choices about their school and their activities. While we are well intentioned parent volunteers, we don't ask the kids what they want, and I think we miss the mark quite a bit. This student association is an attempt to remedy that. We also want to teach them leadership skills, team building schools, give them volunteer opportunities...and have a lot of fun along the way.

Today, we had 35 students show up...which I call success. I had no idea whether to expect 10, 50 or 100. I'll take 35. I took on the ambitious project of running a "Minute to Win It" game. If you're not familiar with this NBC game show, click >>here<<. My goal (which was achieved) was to have EVERY student participate in a Minute to Win It contest. The winner got a bag/box of candy. All participants got a piece of candy, even if they didn't win. If you ever need to do one of these, contact me, and I'll tell you all of my "lessons learned." I could do it again...much more efficiently next time. I couldn't have done it AT ALL without all of the moms who helped.

Here is my favorite one: Cookie to the Face. The goal is to put a cookie on your forehead and using only your facial muscles, get the cookie into your mouth. I had a student running the video..which is why it is choppy and runs a bit long at the end, but you get the point...

I have to tell you, I'm used to pretty immediate feedback, and I was having a hard time telling if the kids were having "fun" or not. About 1/2 of the students left at 3:30 PM, and I was a little bummed that we ran over. I was told by Dom that they had rides waiting or otherwise had told their parents that they were leaving at 3:30 PM. I was also told by Dom that a few had already heard about how fun it was and want to sign up. I think all of those are good signs!

If enticing them with an episode of fun is what it takes to get them involved, I'm OK with that. I am hopeful that we'll gain momentum and that this will be "easy." I'm even more hopeful that we can help establish a culture of community involvement for these young, impressionable kids!

School Days

2011-08-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

Over the summer, my mom gave me many old pictures of her, and I noticed that the official school pictures had "School Days" (followed by the school year) printed a the bottom.

Like: Rosemary Leonetti
School Days 1954-1955

They don't do that any more...for whatever reason.

We've made it a tradition at our house to take first day of school pics every year! This is the 8th school year that I've sent the kids on their merry way for first day of school excitement.

This year is Mariah's "last first day of high school." Seriously? I can hardly believe it.

Here are those "school days" smiles for 2011-2012. It's going to be one heck of a year!

Dear Delta: How NOT to treat your frequent fliers

2011-08-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this particular blog post for Delta Airlines. I hope a Delta exec reads it...and really, really thinks about what I have to say.

For the past 14 years I have traveled, almost exclusively, on Delta Airlines with my home city being Salt Lake. I've flown over 1.3 million miles. For those of you who don't travel often, that is a lot. In any given year, I average 30 trips for business and probably 5 for personal. Are there others who fly more than me? Yes. However, after 14 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on airfare, I believe that I deserve some respect from Delta employees for my continued business.

Earlier this year, I had a run in with a gate agent in Salt Lake City. I bemoaned the fact that as a Platinum Medallion that I had difficulty getting upgrades when the flight was Delta hub to Delta hub (like Salt Lake to Atlanta). Delta instituted a new Medallion level a few years ago: Diamond. Diamonds must travel 125,000 miles a year to hit that level. Platinum must hit 75,000. Last year I had 110,000 or so.

When I expressed my frustration to the Delta agent in Salt Lake, she said, "You have to be Diamond anymore to get those upgrades."

I said, "I missed it by *that* much."

Her reply, "Well, they didn't." Wow. Really?

I said, "Thanks for making me feel like a valued customer." And I stormed off. I talked to a Delta Red Coat a that time and told her the story.

I find that attitude COMPLETELY unacceptable. I really think that some agents who work for Delta have no understanding of what it means to be a frequent flier. I also don't think some appreciate the value of this customer segmentation to the Delta bottom line. In recent years, Delta customer service has continued to decline to the point where many agents are less appreciative of frequent fliers, less accommodating and less sympathetic to our complaints.

Look. I get it. They deal with travelers all day long including frequent fliers who can be high maintenance. I understand. However, they choose their job just like I choose mine. If you're completely desensitized to the your customers concerns, perhaps it is time to get a new job. Again, I've noticed this as a trend in recent years.

Let me set the stage for you. I've been on the road since LAST Sunday. I've flown 8 legs in the past 8 days; 6 were on Delta, 2 were on Air Canada. I traveled SLC to Detroit to Toronto to St. John's, Newfoundland to Halifax, NS to Detroit to Chicago to Minneapolis to Salt Lake City. My Delta ticket cost over $2700. I have been in 5 different time zones, visited with three different clients, stayed in 5 different hotels and had one wonderful weekend back at home in Central Illinois.

I was automatically upgraded on all of my Delta flights except the one tonight. I was waitlisted. When I checked in, there was some space in the back, so I put myself in a window with an open middle. There are no guarantees that this middle will stay open, but middles are usually the last to fill. When I got to the gate, I stood in a long line with other passengers who had questions. Gate C4, Delta flight to SLC 2333 at 5:05 PM.

I asked where I was on the upgrade list (the monitors were not working). The gate agent said, "It's checked in full." I then asked if she was going to be full up in coach. She said that they would be full. Now, this isn't my first rodeo..."full" means different things depending on the day. Sometimes it means that every seat is taken...sometimes it means almost all of the seats are taken (but there are a few stragglers).

So I said, "I'm a million miler...."

Then the gate agent cut me off. She said, "You have a window seat, what do you want, what is your wish?" She actually said those words, "What is your wish."

I said, "All I'm asking is that when you clear stand-bys if you will just see that my middle is the last one assigned." My point is this....I've been on flights where they've cleared stand-bys and put them right next to me...leaving other seats empty. I figure, if you don't make a request, no one will ever know.

I've met some AWESOME gate agents who "get" what I'm driving at and do their very best to accommodate this request. Look, if I want two seats, I know I need to buy two seats. I get it. However, there is nothing wrong with asking, right. It's just all about the extra room. That is all it is for me. I hate being jammed in the back.

The gate agent said, "I have 80 people on stand-by, there will be someone in that seat."

I asked, "Why do you have 80 people on stand-by?" If you're not a frequent traveler, you'll know that's a VERY high number of stand-bys. This is where it turned sour for me. In my opinion, the agent's tone was every condescending.

She said (in a very sarcastic way), "Because the President of the United States was here earlier today and it delayed things." Seriously, she was VERY sarcastic, and acted like I should have known this fact. I arrived in Minneapolis the night before, headed to St. Cloud, didn't turn on the TV, was with a client all day....sorry, I didn't know that POTUS was in Minneapolis earlier in the day. I'm not stupid, and I didn't appreciate being talked to that way.

I can't quite remember how we left it, but I think I mentioned something about doing what she could for me...

Then I went to the ladies room. On my way to the ladies room (adjacent to the gate), she made an announcement about baggage on the plane. I can't quote her directly, but she said something that really offended me. She talked about how there was limited overhead space and that we should all "work together" to make sure we could accommodate all bags. She said that there were a lot of Medallions on the flight and said it was "Medallion Monday" and that while Delta is thankful for our business that our status didn't preclude us from following the baggage rules. She said something like, "Regardless of your status or level, you need to make sure you only put one bag in the overhead." Or something like that. I thought....why is she saying it like that....why did she have to insinuate that 1) Medallions don't do that and 2) why talk down to the customers like that in a PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT.

I went to the ladies room, thought about it, and decided that I was going to talk to her about it.

I walked back to the gate, and she greeted me by saying, "You're back."

Nice.

I'm telling you...she was just kind of snitty.

I said, "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you, and I'd like to ask you to call a Red Coat." I told her that I almost have PhD in Political Science and the fact that I didn't know that the President was in town today was not an indication of my intelligence; it meant that I just didn't know. I told her that I really thought that she was condescending in the way she spoke to me and that I didn't appreciate it.

She said, "I don't think I did anything wrong."

She went on to mention that she'd been dealing with Medallions all day long to which I said, "It's your job, dear."

She didn't like that very much, and that put her on the defensive. But really, it is her job. I told her, "I don't talk to my customers the way you spoke to me. It is not acceptable."

I then explained that I didn't appreciate the PA announcement that called out frequent fliers.

I said, "You talked about Platinums in your announcement and said, 'we appreciate your business, but'." I expressed that I felt it was inappropriate to have that attitude toward your Platniums. She vehemently denied that she said anything about Platniums.

I said, "Yes, you did." A pilot behind her chimed in and concurred that she had said nothing about Platinums.

She said, "I said Medallions." Goodness....a Platnium is a Medallion member...she knew what I meant. I acknowledged my error, and she continued to engage me in what then escalated into an argument.

She said, "I'm sorry that you can't have a middle seat, too, but..."

I cut her off, "This is not about that; this is about the way you spoke to me and the attitude you've expressed toward frequent fliers."

It had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the accommodation request. In fact, I have to tell you, it was really the PA announcement that motivated me to talk to her. I could have brushed off the condescending engagement when I talked to her about my seat assignment, but the PA announcement kind of solidified for me that I was going to approach her about it.

She then continued to try to defend herself and talk over me.

I said, "You won't even let me speak. You're not listening to me. You keep talking over me instead of listening."

I think she FINALLY realized that she actually was doing that...either that, or she was sick of talking to me...which could have very well been the case.

I said, "I wanted to give you the common courtesy of talking to you about this. I could have just gone to your manager, but I wanted to talk with you about it directly."

She eventually did say, "I'm sorry that you felt that way" or something like that.

I happen to be quite proficient at unintentionally offending others by what I say. I've found that when folks confront me that it's easiest just to say, "I am so terribly sorry that what I said offended you. That was not my intent. Please accept my sincere apology." Trust me, I've had to do that more than a few times in my professional career. They way I see it, if I don't tell someone that what they have done is offensive, I am doing an injustice to myself and the offender. I believe by addressing situations head on that we can work to resolve the misunderstanding and both be better for it. I believe that because I fly with Delta so much and that because I've notice a worsening of Delta agents (not all....just a few) that it's my obligation as a frequent flier to let them know how I would like to be treated.

By the way, I have met some AMAZING professionals at Delta. By and large, Delta employees are great. BUT lately when I've seen something, I draw attention to a manager...whether it is that I waited 1/2 hour for check in at O'Hare or the situation I just outlined here. I am hopeful that Delta takes feedback from their most loyal customers seriously. How about a "Thank you for bringing that to my attention" kind of attitude? How about "We value your opinion as one of our frequent travelers?" How about "How might we make this situation better in the future or avoid it all together?"

The story has a good ending. The Delta Red Coat, Ms. Shirley H., passed by and we had a nice chat. She handled the situation beautifully. She listened, she empathized, she apologized.

A gentleman who heard my conversation with the Red Coat said, "I can confirm what she said about the announcement, I thought it was strange and inappropriate as well." I felt somewhat vindicated. I wasn't the only one. I was the only one who spoke out. To be perfectly fair, another gentleman who also heard the conversation said that he wasn't offended at all by the PA message. He thought it was finally time that someone enforce the baggage rules. I have no problem with that part of the message. It was all about the delivery and the reference to "Medallion Monday" and how regardless of our frequent flier status that we were to follow the rules, too. My whole issue with her was her disrespectful attitude toward me, personally and toward frequent fliers, generally.

I certainly hope that someone who can do something about this at Delta reads this and takes it to heart. There are several lessons to be learned from what happened today.

Sumbitch

2011-08-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

In the urban dictionary, it says the following about the word "sumbitch":

Lazy redneck slang for son of a bitch. Rednecks are just to lazy to say the entire phrase, "son of a bitch".

Practical application: "Hey Pa, thar a goes that thar sumbitch! Lets go git heem, Jr.!"

My mother told me two stories about the word "sumbitch" that was just too good not to share. Let me set the scene for you....early 1950s, central Illinois...my mom is living with her Uncle Frank who was born in Italy and emigrated to America. Mom said that the word "sumbitch" was used frequently in the house. While Uncle Frank probably didn't qualify as a redneck, he probably slurred "son-of-a-bitch" together to produce the word "sumbitch."

My mom was in Kindergarten, and she had been given 50 cents with which to buy candy. She chose to buy a heaping bag of black jelly beans: her favorite. Of course, she took the overflowing bag with her to school so that she could enjoy the delicacy all day long. Back then (and even when I was in elementary), the desks had "lids" that opened. They looked like some variant of the picture on the left. You were supposed to store your books and supplies in your desk. Well, my mom put her bag strategically inside of the bowels of the desk so that she could ever so slightly lift the lid and sneak out those black jelly beans. She planned a day of indulgence. Of course, the teacher caught her sneaking her jelly beans, so she took the bag away...to which my mother said to her Kindergarten teacher, "You sumbitch!"

The teacher did not think too much of this, so she took my mother out of the classroom and proceed to smack her little hand with the ruler. Yes, back in the day, teachers could smack and spank kids. It was quite common. I remember my Kindergarten teacher going after a kid with a ruler. He deserved it, too.

As mom was being smacked, she kept saying, "You sumbitch! You sumbitch! You sumbitch!" My guess is that she knew it was a bad word but she probably didn't know what it meant.

In frustration, the teacher sent her home. (I know...sounds weird, but she did.) Then she followed her home...I'm sure to make sure she got there OK and also to inform the family what my mother had done. When she got home, mom turned to her one last time and said, "You sumbitch!"

Oh my goodness, that story makes me laugh and laugh and laugh! You've got to hear my mom tell it to get the full effect.

The second story also has to do with the famous Leonetti and Gazza expletive.

A neighbor of my mother's named Edna promised mom that she would give her a bag of candy if she "stopped saying that bad word." Again, I doubt that my mom knew that the word was bad or what it meant. She, of course, agreed. The next day when Edna came home from work, she kept her promise and brought the young Rosemary a bag of candy.

My mom opened the bag, took a gander inside and said, "You sumbitch, I don't like that kind!"

Bawahhhahahhhhaaa! I couldn't stop laughing when she told me that story.

Out of the mouth of babes, eh?

On a side note, I remember Edna. She was an eccentric old woman by the time I was a little girl. She loved dolls and had a house full of them. She gave me one once. It was a gypsy doll. I can't think of anything more appropriate because Edna reminded me of an old, Bohemian lady. I know that the neighbors really tried to help Uncle Frank and Aunt Mary with my mom. Edna tried to be a positive adult figure in my mom's life when she was really young. Aunt Mary was sick and couldn't always be the kind of mom that a little girl needed.

I remember when Edna died. Hers was the first funeral I ever attended. It freaked me out. I don't think I attended a funeral after that until I was on my mission. And I attended a lot of them on my mission. We were at dinner tonight (my mom, my sister and me), and my sister also remembers Edna's funeral. It was an event that neither of us have ever forgotten.

And for the record...as long as we're sharing family stories. Julie....I still think you stole my Billy Joel Glass Houses Album. You won't convince me otherwise. :-p

A Talk with my 13 Year Old

2011-08-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I woke up with terrible headache that didn't finally dissipate until the early evening. My daily routines had been severely disrupted all week by a home remodeling project; we put tile in one of our living rooms, our kitchen, dining room...our major foot path through the other living room...and out the back door. My kitchen was inoperable all week. On Friday, we had a major change at work, and that can bring anxiety. I'm ticked at myself for not finishing my research project. I had to get all of the girls' registration packets filled out because I'm going to be gone for 9 days in a row. I was very stressed...and not feeling well. I puked my guts out sometime in the afternoon. It was a really bad day.

To make it worse, I was deeply saddened by the loss of American lives in Afghanistan. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big critic of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I was so convinced that invading Iraq was the wrong thing to do that I spent a year of my life researching and writing about it for my masters thesis. What is in my thesis is today accepted as common knowledge: No WMD, no connection to Hussein. However, when I was researching and writing, this was not common knowledge. In fact, I felt like one of the only ones who could see what was happening all around us while we engaged in Iraq. You can view my thesis HERE if you are interested.

You have to understand that I was a junior in college when Saddam first invaded Kuwait. I remember vividly the night Tom Brokaw announced that the US had begun a military campaign in Iraq. I was still on winter break from Bradley University; it was in January. I could hear Brokaw's voice from my room, and I could *tell* something was wrong even though I couldn't hear the exact words he was saying.

That happened when I was 20 years old. I'm now 41. So, for half of my life, I've been affected by the goings-on in Iraq. So has the rest of the world, I suppose.

I was in NYC on 9/11. Talk about a life changer.

So, why did I title this post 'A Talk with my 13 Year Old?'

Last night we were sitting in the McDonald's drive through waiting for our food, and I told Dom about the Navy Seals who were killed in action. Then I just started going on and on and on and on. Poor kid. She probably thinks I'm crazy. If she listened to a fraction of what I said, I'd be surprised.

I told her that we needed to pray for the troops, to pray for the leaders of our country and to pray for our country. I said, "When you are a great-grandma, you are going to say to your great-grand kids....'I remember one night when my step-mom, Wendy, told me about how our country got to where it is today, and I'm going to tell you what she said'."

I told her how very, very worried that I am for our country and that in my entire life time that things have not been like this. Moreover, I told her that I have no idea how we will "fix it." She didn't say too much. She was hungry, and I know her...she was probably thinking "did we get the sweet and sour sauce AND the bbq sauce for my chicken nuggets." So, I decided to take this moment to expound upon my doomsday theories.

I told her that on 9/11 Osama Bin Laden had a goal to take down the United States, and now on the eve of the 10th anniversary of that terrible event, we can see evidence that he succeeded. Since 2001, we've seen waves of recessions. There was a recession immediately post-9/11. Dean lost his job at Boeing early in 2003. The one positive out of that was that he was free to move to Utah when we got married and we didn't have to make tough choices about if we would live in Seattle or Utah.

Starting in 2008, my company started having lay offs. It's been rough going. Dean lost his job again in October 2009. He is still under-employed. We've seen friends and family members lose homes. We've seen small businesses in our neighborhood (our favorite pizza place, for example) close doors because of the economy. It's been really, really tough.

Do I think OBL "brought down the US?" No. I think the US has been imploding from within. I think that 9/11 was a watershed event, but if it had not been 9/11, it would have been something else. We can't live beyond our means for decades and not expect it to catch up with us. An American society became ever more divided on economic, racial and class lines. We have very few things that unify us and so many things that divide us.

I can't think of these times without thinking about Lincoln's "House Divided Speech." Read these words.

If we could first know where we are, and whither we are tending, we could then better judge what to do, and how to do it.

We are now far into the fifth year, since a policy was initiated, with the avowed object, and confident promise, of putting an end to slavery agitation.

Under the operation of that policy, that agitation has not only, not ceased, but has constantly augmented.
In my opinion, it will not cease, until a crisis shall have been reached, and passed.

"A house divided against itself cannot stand."

I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free.

I do not expect the Union to be dissolved -- I do not expect the house to fall -- but I do expect it will cease to be divided.

It will become all one thing or all the other.

Clearly, Lincoln is referencing the issues related to the expansion of slavery: The Missouri Compromise, the Dred Scot Decision and the Nebraska Bill. I think we are just as divided today as they were in the 1850s over the polarizing issue of slavery. The issues are different, but we are divided among a political mason-dixon line: Republican vs. Democrat. The issue isn't slavery; the issues are spending, revenue generation and the debt of this nation. The polarization is palpable; there is an identifiable "feeling" in the nation...at least in my opinion. Political scientist John Kingdon has even coined a term for this; it is called the "national mood."

If I could re-write these words for today it might read:

A house divided against itself cannot stand.
I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half Republican and half Democrat.
I do not expect the Union to be dissolved--I expect the house to fall-- I do expect it unless it will cease to be divided.
It will become all one thing or all the other.

I'm taking creative liberty here. I'm a big Lincoln fan. I've stood many times in the old Illinois State House and read the words of that speech. I mean no disrespect. I only seek to draw attention to the serious state of what is happening in the country. I think for me it was an an "internal problem" until the downgrade of our credit rating. That's when it went to a different level for me. I know that I can't do a damn thing about our credit rating, but it doesn't make me feel comfortable with where we stand in the global community.

I think when we look back on this time in history that 9/11 will be the watershed event. It wasn't the reason for what has happened in the past decade, not directly anyway. It is how we have managed the situation since 9/11/01 that has gotten us to where we are now. We are in a definite historical shift of sorts. Just like the industrial revolution changed things dramatically in this country.

About this time in my speech (which was totally being tuned out by Dominique), the guy came with the food. It's probably good. I was hungry, and she was bored out of her mind.

I don't mean to be a fatalist, and I don't want to scare my 13 year old. However, I'd like her to hear it straight from me and not have to read it in a book someday. I told her that all she could do was study really hard, work hard, be smart with her money and learn how to be as self-sufficient as she could. She said, "Ok, can I have my McFlurry now?" I so wish that all of life's problems could be solved with an oreo McFlurry.

Sometimes I just don't feel like being friendly....

2011-07-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

For those who REALLY know me, you know that I'm one of the moodiest people in the world. Thankfully, I'm still able to function in the business world, but it takes a particular amount of self-control sometimes. In the academic world...it's a 50/50 crap shoot depending on how bad it is on a particular day. Sometimes I'm just not interested in the topic or conversation, so I'll just roll with it. But say something stupid to me on a bad/moody day...I probably won't hold back.

Sometimes I feel like parts of my life are an enigma. Mormons are friendly people. Is something they are "known for." You'll hear "They have freakish beliefs...but they sure are nice people." Ever go to a Mormon church or a Mormon church event? They're all nice. It's REALLY ANNOYING sometimes. Sometimes I just don't want to engage. I just want to do my business and get the heck out of there.

Today was one of those days.

No, I don't want to shake your hand. No, I don't want to stop and have a meaningless chat about our lives. You don't *really* want to know how I'm doing; you just asked to be polite, and that in and of itself is really annoying.

That said...I'm really glad I went to church today. I learned a lot. Perhaps when I return after a two week hiatus (business travel for two weekends...no other reason), I'll be more friendly. Probably. I hope so.

On this day in 1993....

2011-07-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

The following is a journal entry from my mission journal.

Wendy S. Danley

Austria Vienna Mission

Zagreb, Croatia

July 14, 1993

Well, this has been the scariest night of my life. I actually felt that I was going to be seriously injured or possibly die. It was such a feeling of “out-of-my-control,” and I was scared. I was really, really scared. I hate to be out of control of a situation.

Let me back track a little bit. Sister Platt and I went to Karlovac today for the first time. The elders there had planned a nice fireside for the members and non-members. We took the 3:30 PM bus out of Zagreb and arrived in Karlovac at the bus station at about 4:10 PM. Elder Summers and Elder Van Woerkam took us to the centar of town where the Serbian church had been destroyed. I mean—it was destroyed. The steeple still stood, but the place had been gutted out an only partial walls were left standing. We entered in the back way and took pictures. Then between the church and an apartment building, we walked through a pile of trash that appeared as if it has been thrown out the windows. Refugees inhabit those apartments. The stench was quite unpleasant, and we walked quickly to the exit—which was a wooden plank over a pile of glass and dirt.

Then on to the street board. The street board looks awesome, and we really had some success. I met a great girl named Maja—more on her later.

Well, we set up for the fireside at the Klub 90—a little dig in the center of town which I think functions as the city hall. The fireside was OK. The music was beautiful, but honestly (and I make this out to be nothing more or less than it really was), the Spirit of God was not there. I know this will probably sound like just another good additive to the story, but in all sincerity, I did not feel the Spirit—at all. President Valek kept on talking and talking. You could say that he was much like Ammon when he was teaching King Lamoni---teaching everything from Adam (literally) to Ezra Taft Benson. It was way long and boring. About 8:35 PM or so, I heard the first bomb go off.

It sounded exactly like how it sounds at the 4^th of July when they light off those industrial fireworks. The sound is pretty ingrained in me. Oh well, I never much liked going to the fireworks anyway. In my mind I thought, “So this is the bombing that they talk about here in Karlovac.” It sounded pretty close, but it really didn’t bother me too bad. I honestly thought it was normal. It wasn’t normal.

I looked at Colson, and he looked a little “concerned.” Ivancica grabbed my hand. Then two more bombs went off, and I really knew this was abnormal. Ivancica squeezed my hand tighter and tighter. Almost simultaneously, everyone stood up and Sharp said, “We need to get outta here.” There’s no telling this girl twice. I headed directly for my bag and headed out the door. There was a younger man at the fireside who seemed to know what to do.

The sirens went off before we got to the door. Sister Platt and I were both so anxious to get out of the door that we both got our bags stuck, and it made it difficult for us. That was the source of much comical relief later (but not then). Some one was yelling “hajd’ brzo! Brzo!” Which means, “go, fast, fast.”

Some source made me run relatively fast, and we turned the corner at the left. Sister Platt was hauling. I turned back and no one was there. FREAK! I thought the elders would be following us.

I was not going without the elders. I yelled for Sister Platt to come back. There was a shoe store with an all-glass front and several people were just gathered in the entrance to the store. We were like a bunch of scared rabbits with nowhere to go.

[July 15] next day (I was too tired to finish this last night)

So, we all gathered in together. I was huddled right next to Elder Colson, and he was scared, too. The glass front of the store window looked pretty uninviting to random bombs. It seemed like we stood there forever. It got worse and worse every time I heard the sound of a bomb being launched. I felt unprotected and unsafe just standing there on the street. My heart was racing, but my mind was zooming at 200 km/hr. I thought, “This is not supposed to happen on your mission.”

Finally, someone got the idea to break the store window and take shelter inside. Daniel (a man) kept yelling, “Ne s rukom!” Good thing I understand Croatian! That means, “Not with the hand.” Colson kicked the window hard four times and it didn’t bust. He was carrying and overnight carry on bag which was like a suit bag (garment bag). He shoved it through the window and glass shattered everywhere. We climbed through the broken glass and scampered to find a place to hide. Unfortunately, there was no basement. We ran behind a big, tall set of shelves where they stock the shoes. The store looked like this:

We laid there as the bombs kept going off. Colson said, “Are you OK, Sister Platt?” She said yes and then asked if I was OK. I indicated that I was. The I said, “Elder Colson, I know this sounds strange, but I feel safer with the priesthood here. Are you worthy?”

“Yes, I am,” he replied, “ and proud of it!” Colson said, “It’s OK to be proud of it, isn’t it?” Sister Platt said, “In this case, yes!” My voice was all shaky, but I was still able to laugh.

Three little girls who had been playing nearby at a friend’s house joined us in our shoe storage area. The bombs kept up, and we immediately had to lie down. One little girl, Senka, was especially upset. She was crying and kept saying things about her mom and dad. Daniel came over and told her that this was a war and this was life. He then told her she should stop crying. That, of course, didn’t help.

I put my arms around her and hugged this little girl whom I did not know. I said to Sister Platt, “Everything is going to be OK. I feel the Spirit, and I’m calm inside.” She said, “I’m calm inside, too.” My body was shaking, but my spirit was calm. I can’t explain it. I was very scared, but I knew everything would be OK. I told Senka that everything would be fine. She still was not comforted. I found out that she is only 12 years old. Wow. That put everything into perspective for me. No wonder she was so scared.

I asked her if she believed in Jesus. She said yes. I asked her if she believed in God. She said yes. I asked her if we could say a prayer together. She agreed. We all knelt right there in our little fortress of shoes---me Sister Platt, Senka and her two little friends.

I said the prayer. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to help us have the Spirit with us that we wouldn’t be afraid [sic] and that we would all be safe. I asked God to bless Senka’s mom and dad, too. During the prayer, there was a lot of yelling going on between Daniel and the elders. I’m sure they were trying to figure out what to do. After the prayer, little Senka was a little better. She breathed deeply as if to release tension from her 12-year- old little body. She ceased to cry. I felt better. I know our prayers were heard. I know it.

The elders came in and said that they were going to find a safer place, and they went to look for a bomb shelter. Sister Platt said, “I have a game.” We all sat in a circle and played a gesture game she knew called “Oy!” It was fun, and it took the girls’ minds off of the bombing which seemed to stop for the moment.

The girls pleaded with us to take them out of Karlovac. It sure did pull at my heartstrings. Colson came back and said in a soft voice, “Sharp went to get the Halgren’s car, and yuo two are leaving with them. It’ll be about two minutes! Be ready!” The girls understood English perfectly, and they knew we were going to leave them. They started to cry and ask us to take them. Senka asked, “Do you have two cars?” I told her that we only had one, but she would be OK. We kept playing the game to distract them.

I said to Senka, “See this name tag (referring to my missionary tag)? This means we’re missionaries for Jesus Christ, and God doesn’t want us to die.”

Shortly after that, Daniel came in and told us all to run for the bomb shelter. We got to the store entrance and the elders were saying, “Don’t run!” Then I looked to the right and here came Elder Sharp driving the Halgren’s car down this empty street.

He looked funny. He turned the car around, and we all jumped in. The Halgrens are pretty slow going. No one was getting in the car. Sister Platt went to get in, and I got in the other side and so did Zeljko (at the same time). We butted heads in the middle. I couldn’t figure out if we looked more like a war movie or the 3 Stooges---probably the later! Without humor, this would have been a lot more stressful for me.

I said to Elder Sharp, “If I never told you before, I love you, Elder Sharp!” He flashed a big Sharp grin and went back over to the other elders. Then Brother Halgren was messing with the dumb car lock for the steering wheel. It seemed to take forever, but it was probably only 30 seconds. I kept saying, “Go! Go! Please, Go!” I remember President Robert Halmi standing on the sidewalk telling us to Go! He looked pretty anxious. Finally we left, and I started singing, “Come, Come Ye Saints.” Once again---comic relief. We finally got out of Karlovac, and we approached a tollbooth---they waved us through and said, “bez karte” which means “without card”—as in “don’t stop”! We didn’t, and for the first time in my life, I was thankful that Brother Halgren drives like a bat out of hell. We cruised. Finally, I was relieved when I knew we were out of danger.

We talked about it all the way home. After dropping off Zeljko, the Halgrens dropped us off. We were safely home within 25 minutes. Karlovac isn’t very far away from here, and my entire perspective has changed. Boy! We sure did pick a good day. I can’t imagine living in that mess. The pictures that Sister Platt and I had taken suddenly had meaning. They weren’t just there for missionaries to take pictures. They were real.

People lived there, and some had even died there. It’s all real!

Ohhhh! I came home and called Elder Benson. He listened and said, “That’s a great story and all, Sister Danley, but get off the phone, I’m calling President.” Elder Colson called President from the bomb shelter in Karlovac where they had moved to. Poor Pres. He got it bad, and I’m sure his night was a little restless.

This morning the elders called and said that Pres was pulling them out. Good thing. The bombing lasted all night long. The elders stayed in the bomb shelter until 1:00 AM when things calmed down a little. They went back to their apartment, and the shelling resumed. They said the shelling lasted until 6:30 AM this morning.

They are going to take pictures, and then they’re leaving.

Akkk! Well. I love my mission. I love the Lord, and I live His work. I know he hears and answers prayers. The Spirit is real. I’m thankful for all of my many blessings.

Letting go of things does not mean letting go of the memories...

2011-07-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

Seven and a half years ago, my dear friend, Wendy Sue Huntsman unexpectedly passed away. I was devastated. I met Wendy in 1996...not long after I moved to Utah. We were co-workers at the University of Utah, but more importantly, she became one of my closest friends. We shared a physical office space, and we shared many of the details of our lives.

I give Wendy full credit for forwarding me a job posting in 1997. I applied for that job, and I still have it 14 years later. I have had a wonderful career. I give Wendy all of the credit for that.

Our relationship grew into a friendship outside of office hours. One of the things we loved to do was make handmade holiday cards. We bought rubber stamps and hundreds of dollars in supplies to support our craft habit. We would hole up at Wendy's kitchen table ALL DAY. Seriously, I remember one time when we sent her husband, Doug, out for lunch AND dinner so that we didn't have to move. We got up only to eat and go to the bathroom. We had SO.MUCH.FUN....and so many great memories.

We started creating "card worthy" holidays...like St. Patrick's Day and 4th of July just because we loved making cards so much.

When I left the U in 1998, we still continued to craft. We joined the big league crafters and went to stamp conventions in Las Vegas! We'd fly down on Southwest, stay in a crappy hotel and buy lots of stuff to support our habit of stamping.

I never realized how much I cherished Wendy's friendship until she passed. Her death hit me quite hard. There were many times after her passing that I wanted to pick up the phone and tell her something. It was tough realizing that she wasn't there. So, I took to just talking out loud to her. I believe that our spirits leave our bodies and exist still. I believe that our bodies will some day be resurrected and reunited with our spirits. It made sense to me that Wendy was out there somewhere. So, I just started talking to her. That really helped.

I haven't made holiday cards since Wendy's passing. I felt that it wouldn't be the same without her, and I didn't want to betray such a wonderful memory that I have with her. That was "our thing." How could I ever do that activity with someone else.

I've held on to my stamps for all of these years. Every once in a while, the kids pull them out and do something with them, but they clearly don't have the passion for the craft (or obsession) that I once had.

A few weeks ago, I was with a co-worker who, I found, loves to craft AND does some rubber stamping. I knew when we had our conversation that it was finally time. I went through my stamps today, and I sent about 20 of them off to her. I felt like, for the first time, I could part with them because someone would love and appreciate them. I didn't give all of them away; I still have quite a stash. I couldn't quite part with the ones that still had some tender memories attached. I told myself that I would "try" to make Christmas cards this year. (I have NO idea how I will accomplish that unless I start this weekend...in JULY.) But I told myself I would try to jump back on the wagon.

Giving away my stamps is not giving away my memories of Wendy. If anything, it is passing along the good times and joys that we had so others can make their own memories.

I love you, Wend! I'll see you on the flip side!

A week in the life a million miler...

2011-06-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

I travel A LOT for business. Anyone who knows me knows this fact. There is a misconception that business travel is fun or glamorous. It's not. I am often asked if I "like" to travel. I don't quite know how to answer that. I guess I'm good at it. It's also requisite for my job. I like my job. I suppose you can deduce that I like to travel.

Sometimes I get once in a lifetime opportunities, and for those I'm very grateful. Last year I went to Japan with Dean on my way to Guam. We had a really good time. Two weekends ago I took Mariah with me to San Diego while I was at a conference. That was a lot of fun. So, there are those fun times...usually when I can tack something on before or after a trip. But for the most part, business travel is really mundane. Have you seen that George Clooney film "Up in the Air?" That film accurately depicted the life of a "road warrior."

First Class upgrades are a perk, but they are a way for the airlines to reward customers who travel A LOT. I might have a lot of hotel points, but that only means that I spent way too many nights away from home. Business travel has its plusses and minuses.

This week was memorable...for several reasons.

Reason 1: Small town eateries. I have to tell you...there is really "that one" restaurant in nearly EVERY town in this country that you don't ever expect to be there. This week while in Grafton, Wisconsin, we went to a dive called Ghost Town. Click >>HERE<< to check out the website, and you'll see...it really is a dive. We passed through the smoky bar to get to the restaurant. Ahhh...the Mid-West. It reminded me of lots of dive-y places I've been in Illinois. Can I tell you that the service was impeccable, and the food was delicious! Really! It was! I had a beef tenderloin roll that was stuffed with cheese and asparagus and wrapped in BACON! Yum. Served with some yummy mushrooms. For dessert? Fried cheesecake. My colleague and I ate so much that she didn't eat hardly anything the next day!

Reason 2: Completely unexpected things even when you have a good game plan. This is what keeps life interesting! On Tuesday morning when we were to travel to the client site, there was a terrible fog coming off of Lake Michigan. The fog was so bad that visibility was less than 1/8th of a mile in some spots (seriously). I couldn't read ANY signs...and could only see stop lights when I was about 25 feet from them. It was terrible. We were a few hundred yards from the campus entrance, and the bridge was out...in a dense fog...in a place I've never been before. We finally took the "other back roads" to campus (me driving about 15 miles an hour worried about deer jumping out of the fields), and when we got to campus, it took a while to figure out where we were and where parking was. From the parking lot, I could not see any buildings...that's how bad the fog was. See this picture?

See that the campus is LITERALLY on Lake Michigan. I NEVER saw the lake..the entire time I was in Wisconsin. No joke. That is how bad the fog was. The fog never lifted...all the way to Milwaukee. Crazy. I was beginning to doubt my co-worker's assertion that there was a lake there. I guarantee that we'll be talking about that day sometime down the road.

Reason 3: Fun places for lunch with great clients. We headed back to Milwaukee and went to the Safe House for lunch. Click >>HERE<< to see the link. It's a non-descript entrance down a one way alley, and it is a "safe house" for spies. You go in the door and have to give the secret password.

We didn't know the secret password so they made us disco dance to get in. Once in, the entire place was a "secret agent" themed bar/restaurant. SO FUN. Probably not for kids after dark, but it was fun. I don't want to reveal too much so that you have your own first time experience should you ever have the opportunity to go.

Reason 4: The small miracles of travel. We were delayed from Milwaukee to Minneapolis by over an hour. This put us with the tightest of tight connections. If you've never been to the Minneapolis airport, it's quite big. On Tuesday, I walked over a mile in the airport (according to my pedometer). We landed at 7:27 PM, and the connecting flight to Fargo was at 7:40 PM. We came into D2, and the connecting flight was at D6 (literally across the hall). One of my colleagues was back in coach, so when I got to the gate, I asked if they would wait for her. The gate agent said, "I'll wait exactly 4 minutes and 22 seconds." She made it. And the miracle of all miracles...so did my luggage!

Reason 5: FARGO! I've been traveling for business for almost 14 years now, and I'd not yet made it to North Dakota. Check that one off of the list. I've been to all of the lower 48 states and Hawaii. That leaves only dear old Alaska to visit. I told myself that out of my disdain for Sarah Palin that I would not be going to Alaska any time soon. Dean and I are talking about a cruise there for our 10th Anniversary in 2 years. I don't know what I did or didn't expect from Fargo, but it kinda looked like the central plains...not too much to speak of...but it is off the list.

Reason 6: My colleagues and the clients. I wouldn't still be doing what I do after all of these years if I didn't love our clients and really enjoy working with my colleagues. I'm one blessed girl, that is for sure.

It's Baseball, Baby!

2011-06-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night, Mariah and I were in San Diego and took in a Padres vs. Nationals game.

There's nothing like a big league game...even if it is the Padres (who kind of stink this year) and the Nationals (who I don't give a rats about). Nonetheless, we had awesome seats (thanks to one of my co-workers). Here is the view from our seats.

We were about 21 rows up on the first base line (obviously).

Before the game, the Padres honored members of the Negro Baseball League.

That was cool!

The Pads gave a check to the Negro League Baseball Museum in Kansas City, Missouri. That was cool, too! Most people know about the iconic Jackie Robinson, but before Jackie, the men of the Negro league were playing across the country. Really, if you haven't read about them, click on the link above. It's quite inspiring. The men in the picture (above) are all members of the old Negro League and were honored. I was glad to learn more about that league and the men who played in it.

A few other highlights from the game....Anthony Rizzo.

He was called up from the Bigs last week, and in his first game, he hit a triple. There was a huge expectation for him to perform well on Friday. He had an error...a ball when right past him at 1st. Some drunk jackass in the section next to me was yelling his head off about the kid missing the ball. I said, "Give him a break, he just got called up." The guy said, "You're using that as an excuse?" Luckily, I got to disengage because drunk guy from the section above me came down to jawbone with the guy about dis-ing Rizzo. There is a reason that they stop serving beer in the 7th inning!

We at lots! Hot dogs, cracker jacks, cotton candy, sodas, hot chocolate. Number two reason to come to the game is game food.

If you look closely, you can see the jackass I referenced in the photo behind me :o)

This was also "Faith and Fellowship" night at the game where those who were so inclined were invited to a devotional afterward where some of the members of the Padres (who presumably were Christian) would share their feelings about Jesus. Mariah found this exceptionally weird. I thought it was cool. There probably would have been 5,000 less people were it not for the Faith and Fellowship people. Mariah was really freaked out when they announced that sections 105-109 were the seats that folks should head to for the devotional. We were in section 109. She made sure we high tailed it right after the last out.

Padres lost, by the way.

Then in a fit of irony, we found this message in our bulletin at church on Sunday.

Let's just say that Mariah prefers the Giants to the Padres...for many reasons...not the least of which was that the Giants organization seemed to be devoid of religious affiliation ;-)

Two Airports and One Crazy Thursday

2011-06-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

This past Thursday was a bit crazy and contained a series of events that could only happen to me. Somehow, I attract crazy drama, and this Thursday illustrates that point perfectly.

Back up to Tuesday for just a moment. I wake early to catch a flight, and I have an email from my VP. A co-worker has to take an emergency leave of absence to be with a parent having surgery, and could I please fill in for a presentation on Thursday. I respond by saying that I'm traveling that day, and "I don't think it will work." Well, after some negotiation and planning, we all figure out a way for it to work. It goes something like this:

Check into hotel in Detroit on Tuesday.
Test Internet connection in hotel.
Test phone in hotel.
All is well.
Drive to Toledo.
Do what I need to do in Toledo on Tuesday.
Drive back to Detroit on Wednesday.
Have lovely dinner with an old friend.
Return rental car Wednesday night so that I can buy just a bit more time to spend on the phone with the client on Thursday.
Go to sleep on Wednesday ready for the remote presentation on Thursday.
Wake up on Thursday thinking, "I'm good to go, the only thing that could go wrong is if there is construction outside my window this morning while I'm trying to do the demo."

Yes, you guessed it, I am showered, packed, computer booted up...all ready to go, and I open the window to see a THREE STORY CRANE outside of MY window. You've GOT to be kidding me...although, the words that actually came out of my mouth were much, much worse than that. I called down to the front desk, ask to speak to the manager and explain my problem. I pulled the, "Usually there is a letter if there is construction" card. And double downed with a "I'm a diamond member" (top level of Hilton preferred guest).

The manager was AWESOME. He moved me to a room across the hall (and away from the crane). He had the entire housekeeping staff up there cleaning that room, and literally, in three minutes they had moved me in there. I can't speak more highly of them jumping into action and making the best of what could have been a really bad situation.

I had a "hard stop" for the presentation at 10:30 AM because I had a flight to catch. I'd done everything right...took the car back the night before to buy me some extra time...had all of my things packed, the suit case zipped up...I was ready. Unfortunately, we ran long...by about 10 or 15 minutes. At the end of the presentation, I power down to rush to catch the shuttle, and I'd just missed the 10:40 AM shuttle. Rats. So, the next shuttle wasn't until 11:00 AM. My flight left at 12:00 PM. That's cutting it close...especially in an airport I'm not familiar with.

11:00 AM...no shuttle driver. I pestered the front desk clerk to track down the driver. He showed up at 11:10 AM. Rats...cutting it even closer. He had to stop at TWO different hotels before we actually got on the road to the airport. Double rats! [Note to self: I don't care if the airport is 500 yards away, next time schedule a cab and pay the guy double the fare to make sure it is worth his while.]

I got to the airport only to find that my flight was delayed. Thank heavens! I could use the extra 30 minutes.

I get to security, and I choose the line that doesn't go through the full body-see through your clothes-scanner. I choose the line that is an old school machine. I get to the front of the line, and I had my belt on. Trust me, those old school machines don't care about belts. I wear mine all the time through the machines, and it never goes off. I get to the entrance to the machine, and the TSA agent told me to take off my belt. I said, "It won't go off in the machine." He told me again to take it off. I gave off some attitude. He didn't like it, and he sends me through the full body-see through your clothes machine.

I was ticked! I had been watching the lines, and in the time that I observed what was going on, all the people in my line went the magnetometer, and the people in the left line when through the full body scan. I really felt like he "made" me go through the machine because I didn't take off my belt. I didn't take off my belt because I thought Iwas going through the magnetometer. So, I go throug the full body machine, and I do what I always do...when I put my hands over my head, I flip the double-bird. It's juvenille; I know. But it is my only way of tacit protest of those machines.

I come out of the machine, and I really don't know how it all started, but I made a comment about how the belt would have been fine if they'd let me go through the other machine and that I wear it all the time in Salt Lake City.

The TSA agent said, "Well, this isn't Salt Lake City, and we follow procedure here."
I said something else to her (I really can't remember what it was)
She said, "There is no arguing here, you move on."
I said, "I can argue with you if I want; it's called free speech."
She said, "Not in my line you don't." I said, "I'd like to talk to a supervisor."
She said, "You can go locate a supervisor yourself."
I said, "I am asking you to call a supervisor."
She said, "You go locate a supervisor yourself."

I don't care who you are or how rude you think I've been, but when I ask for a supervisor TWICE, and you tell me twice to "go locate one myself," that's not cool. I asked another TSA agent to get me a supervisor.

The supervisor approached the TSA agent who refused to help me, and she said, "This woman didn't want to take her belt off..."
I cut her off and said, "That is not what happened...don't explain my problem. I will explain my problem."

The supervisor was a young guy who was REALLY cool. He assured me that they randomly select people to go through the boobie seeing machine and that I was not singled out. (I dispute that point. I actually think that because I had the belt on and was giving attitude about having to go through the boobie seeing machine that they "randomly" selected me. I dealt with "random" gate screening immediately post 9/11, and I had a gate agent use "random" screening on me as retaliation once....another blog post for another day...but that gate agent was fired by Delta over that incident, and I have the letter from Delta to prove it.)

My contention was with the woman who told me to "go locate a supervisor" for myself.

Long story shorter (somewhat), all ended well with the supervisor, and we shook hands and wished each other well. He promised to have a chat with the woman who told me to "go locate a supervisor" for myself, and I went on my merry way. I'm not certain if he spoke with her or not, but what am I going to do?

Fast forward 4 hours later. I'm in line for a taxi in Salt Lake City. (Dean couldn't pick me up, and since he'd dropped me off at the airport, I had no option but to take a cab.) I'm in the taxi line, and guy rolls up with an airport luggage cart.

Stacked with bags that looked like this:

One of these bags fell off the cart in the near vicinity of my feet, and that caught my attention. The guy pushing the cart was a blondie who I didn't recognize. I see on one of the bags that there is a tag that says "Sandoval." For those of you who are not fans of the World Series San Francisco Giants, Pablo Sandoval is the 3rd Baseman for the SF Giants and is affectionately known as Kung Fu Panda by fans.

So, being a smart ass, I ask the blondie, "Are you carrying Pablo's luggage?" Behind him a guy removes his earphones and looks interested in what I'm saying. The blondie, clearly not amused, says, "No, I am too good to carry Pablo's luggage." That was my cue to dis-engage. The guy either 1) didn't have a sense of humor and didn't want to chat or 2) I had completely lost my mind and made an illogical reference to Pablo Sandoval.

I jump in a cab and get on google to check out if I had misspoken about the Pablo Sandoval reference. Oh, I was right. Also, the guy behind blondie...WAS PABLO SANDOVAL. I was freaking five feet from him, and I didn't recognize him. There is a good reason. First, he wasn't wearing his batting helmet, and he just looks different without his hat or ball cap. Second, he's lost a lot of weight. Here is what he normally looks like.

He now looks kinda like this...

I found out that he was on the injured list and was in the minors during his rehab and that he was in town for a minor league game.

I can't believe that I biffed that one. I could have gotten a picture and an autograph. I even call Mariah "Pablo" when she bats....just because I think it's funny. I think I've told the Sandoval story 7 times since it happened. I even became a Giants fan last year (before they were good...we went to opening night). I can't believe I didn't even realize my brush with Pablo.

I had a crazy 6 hours, that's for sure.

Why I believe in PTA...and what I learned at a PTA Convention...yes, a PTA Convention

2011-06-03T21:47:00.000-07:00

Ok...I have to be honest. Eight years ago when I was at the young age of 33, moving into my first place that I owned...living the dream...single...no kids...I never, ever dreamed that I'd be a PTA mom. Never. I got involved in PTA when Elle went to 7th Grade. You can read about my first PTA impressions here. (BTW, if you want to know how my "fundraising idea" panned out, you can read about that here. Yes, the project has its own blog!)

A lot has changed for me since that first PTA meeting nearly three years ago. I know that a lot of parents get involved at the elementary level, but I have to tell you...I firmly believe that our middle schools have the greatest need for parental involvement. I know that middle school was the hardest time of my adolescence. I know that each of my kids has struggled in middle school. Bradley lost his damn mind when he hit junior high. There are so many issues that kids age 12-15 deal with, and I just really feel strongly that this is where I needed to insert myself into the process.

I'm SO proud of the parents I work with on the PTA. We have a fantastic relationship with the school administrators and our teachers, and we all have one common interest: the kids at our middle school. In the three years that I've been on PTA, we've instituted a "Student Success Week" where we inform students and parents on the ins and outs of what it takes to be successful in middle school, high school and set their eyes on college, military and careers. This year we funded three teacher grants for classroom projects. We support our teachers during parent-teacher conference in the spring and fall with yummy appreciation dinners. This year we gifted the school an amount of yearbooks (normally $25/each) for low-income students who are "good" kids...who just can't afford a year book. We left the subjectivity and awarding of these yearbooks to the administrators. There are so many good things our PTA does, and I'm really proud to be a part of it.

This year, I went to the Utah PTA Convention. It was at BYU, and that was the only part that was "undesirable" ;-) I'm glad I went; I learned a lot.

This is the new Utah PTA President, Gainell Rogers.

This is the National PTA President, Betsy Landers. She is from Tennessee.

This is Jeannette Herbert, and she is married to our Governor, Gary Herbert. She's started a new program called Utah Uplift Families, and she gave a nice speech introducing the program at the PTA convention. Click here to read a bit more about it. It's a parenting program that seeks to provide training for parents. I think this is a BRILLIANT idea! She mentioned that some people feel they need to be friends with their children but that really they need to be parents, not friends. Amen to that! I have seen many moms of teen girls who "want to be their friend." It just never works out. Having a good relationship with your child is entirely different than "being their friend." PTA will help support this program.

This is Larry Gelwix. He is the infamous coach of the Highland Rugby Team of Forever Strong fame. I was SO impressed with him. It's easy to see (just by listening to him for 20 minutes) that he has the ability to influence lives. He said the formula for success was 1) Good Players ; 2) A good game plan and 3)Great Coaches. It seems simple, and it is. It's a philosophy that has made him the winning-est high school rugby coach ever.

He also talked about management styles. He talked about horizontal leaders and vertical leaders. He said that horizontal leaders are multipliers and vertical leaders (who use ego, threat and intimidation) are diminishers. He recommended the book: Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter. I just now bought it and sent it to my Kindle. (LOVE my Kindle!)

He asked the question: How do you treat the people who can't do anything for you? That made me think.

One other nugget of wisdom: Practice makes permanent, not perfect. Again, something to think about....

This is the Guv, Gary Herbert. He's OK. He's a Republican. He's also from South/Central Utah...take from that what you will ;-) He talked about economic development and made a comment that had me thinking of a possible research topic. I'll blog about that if it materializes.

Some pretty heavy hitters for a Utah PTA conference.

I was inspired at the conference to create a "student" component to our PTA. We are actually a PTSA (which you can have in middle and high school). I want to start a "Student Council" of sorts, and I think this student involvement would have a positive impact on our school. We have over 1/2 of our students on fee waiver and free lunch. We have a highly diverse population at our little middle school. Our school, Mount Jordan Middle School, has the nickname of Mt. Ghetto. Ok. Bring it on! We're proud to be part of Mt. Ghetto!

My vision is to obtain a grant to support this after school constituency of our PTSA. (There is a fee to join PTA, and I don't want any student to be excluded.) I would like to see a monthly meeting with a stated goal. I envision meeting that have a business component to teach the kids procedure and leadership skills then a second component that is an activity of some kind. It's a big, ambitious goal, but I have the support of my local board. Our kids LOVE after school things, and quite frankly, they need some structure to keep them out of trouble. This could be a great win for our whole school community. Wish me luck in trying to figure out the whole grant thing to fund us!

Hopefully, I'll have more to write about this!

I don't do "sick" well

2011-05-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

I am on the mend from a cold-sinus infection combo. I'm not sick very often, but when I am, I am completely worthless. Starting this past Friday, I took every over the counter drug that has helped in the past and several others that were recommended. I took (at intervals, not all at the same time) DayQuil, sudafed, Mucinex, Tylenol, nose spray and Advil. Nothing helped. AT ALL. I was in bed Friday night....all through Saturday...all through Sunday. At about 3:15 PM on Sunday, I decided to hit the local insta care and ask for an antibiotic. The pressure in my head told me that I had a sinus infection. The doc didn't want me to take the antibiotic unless "it was necessary." Let me tell you, it was necessary. If I had 7 days to get over something, I would, but I have a flight on Tuesday morning, and flying with a head cold is not an option. After one dose of the antibiotic, I felt better.

I HATE BEING SICK. I really hate being sick on a HOLIDAY WEEKEND...when I could be doing any number of meaningful things. Oh well, no sense in whining about that any more. This Memorial Day holiday is almost over, and I have learned two things. First, the only good outcome has been a 5 pound weight loss...and a residual outcome has been that I realize that I'm not missing a damn thing by never investing time in Lifetime movies. Yes, yesterday I watched a FOUR HOUR Lucy Liu movie called "Marry Me." That is four hours of my life that I can get back...which is probably where the name for the channel comes from: it takes your "life time" away from you!

Whenever I'm sick, the whole family goes into a helpful mode. Dean went and got me all of the drugs I requested along with 4 boxes of Kleenex. The girls have provided a steady stream of food and drink. (I've hardly left my bedroom at all.) They're really good about helping out like that.

I reminds me of when Dean and I were first married, and I got sick in the first 6 weeks of our marriage. I became sicker than I can ever remember in my life....childhood or adult. I had strep throat. After struggling through it for 3 days, I went to the U of U emergency room...where an asshole doctor gave me a prescription without even doing a throat culture or pretty much even examining me. He gave me penicillin. Let's just say that I got unbelievably sicker. I would take the medicine...feel "ok" for about an hour then shake and shake and shake. I have since told every doctor I can that I'm allergic to penicillin.

I couldn't keep down any food, and I had a fever of about 102-104 for DAYS. I was on the phone non-stop with my doctor's office, and after I'd been taking penicillin for four days when my fever didn't break, the doctor was calling ME at home. He finally advised that I go to a different ER and tell them to give me IV fluids. That did the trick. I finally was able to eat without projectile vomiting, and my fever finally broke.

The problem was that during these 8 days that I was sicker than sick, I was preparing for a HUGE presentation. (Or supposed to be preparing...I literally couldn't get out of bed...and I slept almost non-stop.) Even though I was no longer "so sick" after I was hydrated, it still took me about a week to recover. I had to miss a client presentation, and let's just say it was a BIG DEAL. What could I do? The client was accommodating (what could they really say?) When I got to the account a few weeks later, there was a rumor that I had feigned sickness to buy more time to prepare for the demo. So, to quash that rumor, I did I pictorial timeline of my sickness and showed the massive bruise on my arm where the guy trying to rig me to an IV first missed my vein. I'm talking...this bruise was as big as the palm of my hand. That quelled any rumors about me feigning sickness.

Nothing sucks worse than being sick and being on the road. Thankfully, I'm on the mend, and when I get on my plane tomorrow... my head won't explode from the sinus pressure.

Here's to hoping that I'm not sick again for a very long time!

I totally don't want to admit it...

2011-05-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

but I'm fat. There. It's out there in the universe, and I can't take it back. I've had "weight issues" my whole life. The sad thing is that I thought I was a fat kid and a fat teenager. When I look back on my pictures as a kid, sure I had some chubby times, but who doesn't. In general, I wasn't a fat kid. I felt horrible about myself as a teen, but I wasn't "fat." At the time, however, I thought I was as big as a cow!

When I got back from my mission...I gained about 70 pounds within a year or so. I actually LOST weight on my mission...then could eat anything I wanted. You can do that when you walk so many miles each day that you LITERALLY wear holes in your shoes. I walked up so many stairs. One day, I accidentally held my breath walking up 10 flights of stairs and I thought I was going to pass out. I felt fat on my mission...and I have to admit, I was packing a few too many pounds...probably 40 too many. I was fit, though. The walking did that...oh, and all of the times I had to RUN for a tram!

But now that I'm 41, my body has been completely unforgiving. What would have melted off with minimal effort 10 years ago now seems stuck to my buttocks like super glue. I've begun and quit Weight Watchers so many times that I deserve some kind of award for biggest quitter. By the way, I totally LOVE WW. It works when you work the program.

My sister Sarah would say that weight loss is all about Math. It is. Calories burned must exceed calories consumed. I get that. It's a pretty simple Math problem because it doesn't involve sin, cos and tangent. I'm a smart woman. I know intellectually what needs to be done. However, I have let myself down in this area of my life again and again.

I joined Curves yesterday, and I had my first workout today. I got measured yesterday, and I was embarrassed when the fat tracker machine thing said that I had more than 50% body fat. I already knew this, but having someone else know it makes it more real. The scale had a GINORMOUS number (and like 15 pounds more than what my home scale says). But, I was there. That is what was important. I had my first workout today, and I sweated...something which I rarely do and avoid at all costs.

I've justified my weight with every imaginable reason you can dream up. I actually think I have reverse anorexia. I look in a mirror and I don't see a fat person. What a blessing, but it's also been a curse! I try to hide behind my talents, skills and intellect...but I'm still fat. I actually don't mind being fat (which is part of the problem), but I mind being *this fat.*

I need to do something or my quality of life will diminish...and rapidly. I'm a 41 one year old near-grandma, and I shouldn't feel like I'm 67 (no offense to any 67 year olds). I'm insanely busy in my professional, academic and personal life, but I need to take care of me. If I don't, none of the rest of it will matter.

What are my goals? A number on the scale that doesn't start with a 3. That is my first goal. After I hit that one, I make another one. One baby step at a time.

Thanks, Universe, for listening. I guarantee that I'm not the only one in this boat..(the gravy boat...LOL..ok, I'm only funny in my own mind), but I think that the more we talk about these kind of things, the healthier it is for our psyche. More soon! Peace out!

Middle School Election Tactics

2011-05-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Dominique is running for Student Body Officer this week, and we have been having some discussions about elections and campaigns. A few weeks ago, she asked me to help her. I agreed to be her campaign manager (an un-paid position, by the way). She decided that she wanted her theme to coincide with something she could hand out...like candy, a bracelet, you get the point.

I came up with several bad ideas. Then she really liked, "Don't be a sucker, vote for Dom." We thought we could get suckers and use the label maker to put her slogan on labels and wrap them around suckers. She said to me, "Let me check with my friends and see what they think before we decide." Um, excuse me? I said, "I don't mind being your campaign manager, but I don't need to vet all ideas through 'your people'!" Since I'm also funding the campaign (posters, suckers and supplies), I think my opinion counted a bit more than a group of 7th grade girls.

Do you know how much suckers cost? There are 180 7th Graders at our school. I thought...this is going to cost me 10 bucks or so. Guess again. A bag of 18 suckers cost a whopping $3.00. When did sucker prices go up so much???? Luckily, all suckers were on sale at Walgreens. We spent $20.00 to get 190 suckers. Then I spent about $45 on the cartridges for my label maker. I have no idea what Dean spent on posters the week before, but I can tell you that the Sharpies used to color said posters have come up missing (or at least some of them have). I'm guessing I'm out at least $100.00 on this campaign.

So, as we are adorning suckers last night with labels (Oh, and we got some Dum Dums...and I made the labels for those say, "Don't be a 'Dum Dum,' vote for Dom Dom." Apparently, I'm the only one who thinks that is funny, but oh well...since I was in charge of the label maker....)

While doing our project, Dom says, "Is this what it's like when you run for President of the United States?" I couldn't contain my laughter. Can you imagine??? The Obamas with 300 million suckers and a label maker? I said, "Yes, it's similar, but you don't give out suckers. But you have a campaign manager, a budget, a slogan and a reason that people should vote for you." Running for student body officer is a mini-life lesson....

Then I asked her what she thought her chances for winning were. She says, "Oh, I plan on winning, because I'm going to make everyone pinky-swear to vote for me." Can I tell you how proud I am!

I hope she wins because she really, really wants it. In the end, we might be out spent, and I know that we don't have the best slogan. I'm holding out for the coercive "pinky-swear technique" to push her to the finish line.

No Problem, Man...

2011-05-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since I've posted to the blog. I have thought about posting nearly every other day, but I've been SOOOOOOO busy. Tonight I find myself in my hotel room...I've prepped for tomorrow...I've had room service for dinner. I have only to watch more TV, iron my clothes and finally make a blog post. Here are some highlights of the past month....

First up: Jamaica.

In April, Dean and I traveled to Jamaica for Evan and Melissa's wedding. I've known Evan since 1985...since I was a sophomore in high school. Friendships like that are few and far between, and it's been great keeping in touch throughout the years. The people you grew up with...in those formative years...understand you like no one else. Pekin, Illinois is a cultural experience, and only those who grew up there "get it." That kind of bonding experience has endeared me to many folks from my youth. It was such an honor to be asked to attend the wedding.

I got a lot of good pictures of the beach wedding, but this is one of my favorites!

Weddings are so much fun! We had such a great time! The best thing about a wedding reception is that you really get to know people by the end of the night! Below is Melissa being ceremoniously raised in the air by the men at the party.

This is Evan taking the chair ride....which seemed to be a questionable and somewhat unstable ride...but no grooms or participants were harmed in the process!

Also while in Jamaica, we did a lot of relaxing and a little bit of site seeing. Our favorite activity was a raft trip on the Martha Brae River. You'll see in the video below, the rafts are made of bamboo (about 15-17 pieces of bamboo across). There is also a "seat" made of bamboo, so you sit about 18 inches off of the raft. It was cool to be basically right on the plane of the river...as opposed to being elevated in a boat. Along the shore, there were folks selling towels, trinkets and rum...lots of rum. The captain would pull over if you wanted to buy something. It was a really nice ride. Our captain's name is Larry. He's been captaining the raft for a few decades.

The first resort we stayed at was the Hilton. It was a family-friendly property...the kind where we would take the kids. This is a view from our room.

Here are some pictures from the Secrets St. James Resort.

It was unbelievably beautiful. I got in the water for one day...only because I didn't want to get sunburned...and I burn easily...even with sunscreen. The water here was warm and clear and just beautiful!

We also stopped by a fresh fruit stand where I had my first coconut milk drink. It kind of tastes like coconut flavored water.

We then stopped for lunch at the Pork Pit...a local/slightly touristy informal BBQ. Good eats, reasonable price.

We are so blessed to be able to afford luxuries like a trip to Jamaica. Some of our favorite times were just taking in the beauty of the sea. It was a bit of paradise.

When we got home and handed out the Jamaica presents, the girls didn't hesitate to put on the hats!

And...I still have a lot of catching up to do, but reporting on our Jamaica trip is one thing off of the list. Yah, man...

Snowy Spring

2011-04-10T01:11:00.000-07:00

Just when we think that it's all done snowing, it snows again. These shots were taken on a March morning when the snow around the house looked absolutley brilliant!

Bon Jovi Concert, Salt Lake City, March 22nd, 2011

2011-03-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

Each year my company has a VERY BIG user's group meeting for our clients. Seriously, there are like 6,000 to 7,000 people who attend from all over the world. It's quite an event. This year, my birthday was right smack, dab in the middle of the conference. Over the years, I've spent a fair amount of birthdays on the road, but not this year. I took off two days for my birthday....and in turn, did not go to the conference. When folks asked why I wasn't going, I said, "First, it's my birthday on Monday, and second, I have Bon Jovi tickets on Tuesday." My former boss said, "That's the best reason yet I've heard not to attend."

I actually really missed seeing the clients. After 14 years in the biz, I know many of them, and I consider several of them friends. I won't miss next year's conference for sure...it's in Vegas, baby!

So...the concert.

Can I tell you that I have a serious crush on Bon Jovi. The man is HOT.

I also really like his music. Slippery When Wet came out when I was in high school, and that whole album pretty much defined my senior year. Over the years, I've belted out the lyrics to "Livin' on a Prayer" more times than I can remember. I also think Jon Bon Jovi is a good guy. He's done some great nonprofit work, and I just think he's an all around good person. In short, I love Bon Jovi. When I heard he was coming to Utah, you'd better believe I was on that computer at 10:00 AM snagging my tickets. We had awesome seats right by the stage.

Here are some of the sites and sounds from the concert....enjoy!

This is me and Dean, pre-concert. I'd like to point out that all of my private parts are covered....but there were a lot of ladies at the show bearing some serious cleveage. I'm not sure who the audience was for that type of dress (or lack thereof). On the TRAX, I thought one woman's boob was going to come flying out. I keep checking to make sure they were still in place. She managed to keep them in, but I'm telling, you, one jumping incident would have exposed those babies. Dean and I are getting older....and this is about as dressed up as we get for a concert; we're way too practical. And old...did I mention that we're old. So old that I will definitely consider wearing earplugs to the next concert I attend. I'm fairly certain I have some hearing loss going on...

"It's My Life"

"Runaway"

"Hallelujah"

"I'll Be There for You"

"Who Says You Can't Go Home"

"Blaze of Glory"

"Dead or Alive"

"Livin' on a Prayer"

Go Fly a Kite

2011-03-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

Today was a classic windy March day here in Utah. As Dom and I were driving home, I saw a dad at our local middle school with his two small children coaching them on how to get their kites in the air. I LOVE TO FLY A KITE! I really do! I remember that we'd get about one new kite a year and it would last all of about 20 minutes. It usually took a nose dive..or the string broke...or it got wrapped around a power line.

As I mentioned my love for kite flying to Dom, she said, "I've never flown a kite."
I was stunned. My knee-jerk reaction was to blame that missed childhood experience on her mom...then I realized that since she's been with me since the age of 5...that it's MY fault. Boy, did I feel badly. We're going to remedy that situation ASAP. I'll be buying some kites so we have them on hand ready for the next good windy day.

What else have I missed from their childhood? I need to create a "must do during childhood list" because I'm running out of time!

For now, I'll try not to beat myself up too badly. I'll sleep tonight with the lyrics from a Mary Poppins song running through my head.

With tuppence for paper and strings,
you can have your own set of wings.
With your feet on the ground, you're a bird in flight!
With your fist holding tight, to the string of your kite!

Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!

Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" Really Got in My Head

2011-03-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

I'm here in Washington State right now, and in the hotel gift shop, they are selling some ash from Mount St. Helens. I remember when she blew back in 1980. I was 10 years old. I remember that my mom thought she saw volcanic ash all the way in Pekin, Illinois. I have no idea what my mother was smoking that day, but I'm fairly certain that she didn't see volcanic ash.

In the early 80s, my dad lived in Lynnwood, Washington (just north of Seattle), and the summer after my 5th Grade year (in 1981), I visited my dad for several weeks. I wish I could tell you that I fell in love with Washington that year, but I didn't. It rained and rained and rained and rained some more.

That summer, a few things stick out in my memory. First, I discovered the Ouija board. For some unknown reason, my step-mother thought it was ok to leave an 11 year old and a 9 year old alone with a Ouija board all day long. Good heavens...the spirits we conjured up from the dead were mostly good ones...but a few still freak me out today.

Second, I remember that my sis Sarah (a toddler back then) tried to ingest two snails. She said, "Look, Daddy...rocks." (Open mouth, insert pudgy little fist full of slimy snail.) That got all of the adults' attention. She lived.

Third, I remember the day that I found illegal drugs at Fred Meyer.

I was taught all kinds of things in elementary school like "Stranger Danger," "Reading is FUNdamental," and "Take a Bite Out of Crime." In short, I was a walking source of soundbites on how to be an educated and aware citizen. So, the day I found drugs at Fred Meyer....I wasn't sure what to do. I was with my dad on some shopping errand, and my dad was probably meandering in the hardware section. Near an endcap, I found a small plastic bag about one inch by one inch full of what I was convinced was "coke." Mind you, I'd never seen "coke," but I had heard about it. Also, somewhere in the back of my 11 year old mind, all drugs came in little plastic bags. I found one of these bags on the floor of a Fred Meyer, and I was faced with a moral dilemma. If I took the small bag of drugs, that would be stealing. If I left the small bag of drugs, I would be helping someone else snort coke. This is really how it processed in my mind.

As I was struggling with this moral dilemma, I decided to tell my dad about the drugs I found on the floor of the Fred Meyer. He looked at the bag of coke, looked around and found the source of the drugs. There were these commemorative plaques for the Mount St. Helens explosion, and on the back of each plaque was a small sample of volcanic ash. The bag of coke I found on the floor was really a small bag of volcanic ash from Mount St. Helens.

Whew! Crisis averted. No one would die from snorting volcanic ash!

It's funny the things we learn as kids, how we incorporate them....and the odd reason that this memory has stuck with me for 30 years!

The gift store volcanic ash triggered this childhood memory. Yeah, I'm a freak!

Where does a genie live?

2011-03-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight we were at dinner at Mimi's Cafe. I had a Cobb Salad with blue cheese dressing (on the side). They delivered it in a container that looked like this: Probably prompted by the shape of the container, Dom asked, "Where do Genie's live?"

I said, "In a bottle?" Because whenever I think of Genies, I think of "I Dream of Jeannie" and something that looks like this:Dom: "Not a bottle!" "Like that (pointing to the salad dressing thing)! A Genie lives in something that looks like a gravy boat." (still pointing at the salad dressing thing) Click HERE to see previous confusion related to a gravy boat.

Me: "Ah, yes, I genie can live in a lamp" (And why I'm pretending like genies exist is an entirely different matter).

She thought we meant a lamp like this:

Or perhaps this:

Since we have one of these up in our house from Thanksgiving to New Year's each year.

We then tried to convince her that something that looked like this:

is actually considered a "lamp."

Me: "Have you heard of the Parable of the 10 Virgins?"

Dom: "No."

Me: (Pointing at Dom) "One." (Then pointing at Elle) "Two."

We had an interesting conversation about oil lamps. For whatever reason, Dom hasn't seen an oil lamp (or if she has, she doesn't remember seeing one). We don't have them at home. My mom used to have them. We had the colored oils and everything. I don't know why we ever used those things. I can't imagine the fire hazard that they were. I don't remember seeing one after about 1979 (or about the time that we got our first CB Radio.....connection? correlative? hummm?)I LOVE having these times with the girls. I'm so glad that Dominique (at the age of 12) still asks questions like "Where does a genie live?" I love that it leads us down unexpected paths of conversation and exploration. When we eat at home, we actually sit around the table and talk; some of my best conversations with the kids happen there. Tonight it was at a restaurant table. This is the fun stuff of life.

Where does a genie live? Why of course, a genie lives in the imagination of a child.

Write down the funny things your kids say....

2011-03-06T20:26:00.000-08:00

Our kids have said some hilarious things over the years. I used to keep a file with the things that they said, but somehow...somewhere...that file got deleted. So, I decided to do my best to search my memory and write them in cyber space. If you have kids...I totally encourage you to do this....you will forget. Also, the kids love hearing stories about themselves...no matter how crazy they are. Here are a few oldies but goodies.

Bradley-

A few years ago at Christmas, Dean needed a phillips screwdriver to dismantle our stocking holder. He sent Bradley to the tool box to look for one. Finding none there, Bradley went to the garage to look (we have more tools in the garage). He came back several minutes later exasperated claiming that he couldn't find a phillips screwdriver. I insisted that there was definitely one in the garage. He said something like, "I don't know what to tell you. I checked every single screwdriver we have. All of them say "Craftsman." Not one of them says, "Phillips"." I thought Dean was going to pass out he was laughing so hard!

Mariah-

This child is geographically challenged. No one believes me about this first story...and dang it, if I had my file, I could *prove* that I wrote it down when it happened. A few years ago (maybe three or four years ago), Mariah was doing an assignment/studying for a test related to capitals. She said, "Is Oregon the capital of Washington?" I'm assuming that she got Olympia confused with the other "O word" that came to mind. I said, "No, Oregon is a state." Mariah: "Yes, but is it the capital of Washington?"

Major parental fail. Again, Dean still thinks I got that one wrong, but I assure you, I got that story EXACTLY right. I was vindicated last year by Mariah's more recent display of geographical ineptitude. We were in San Francisco for a nice weekend, and we were down on the piers somewhere. Someone made a comment, and I said (sarcastically), "Welcome to California!" To which Mariah said, "We're not in California, we're in San Francisco." LONG pause from both me and Dean. Dean tells her that we are indeed in California. She insists that we are not. You'd think that she would have just believed us...my heavens I've been to California more than 150 times on business, and I've been to San Francisco at least 10 of those times. Dean calls her bluff saying, "Ok, Mariah...then what is the capital of San Francisco?" The wheels were spinning so quickly in her head that I thought her red hair might catch on FIRE. She suddenly realizes that San Francisco *is* a city, not a state. She had just not made the connection before that moment. The only other time she'd been to California was to go to Disney, and to her defense, the Bay Area is NOTHING like SoCal...but still....

I have since purchased a puzzle map of the US. I have no idea why she struggles so much with geography. I shudder to think of where she might place other NATIONS on a world map!

Elle-

Elle gives me so much content that I don't even know where to begin. One of my FAVORITE stories about Elle has to do with Aliens, Leprechauns and the Tooth Fairy. I know...it's hard to believe, but it's true.

We were at the post office one day, and when I got back into the van, Elle said, "Did the aliens invade Europe in 1944?"

Me: "What??? Do you mean Hitler? Did Hitler invade Europe in 1944?"

Elle...adamantly..."No, the aliens....did they invade Europe in 1944?"

Me: "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Elle: "It's in this book that I read."

Me: "And where did you get this book?"

Elle: "The school library." At this point in time I begin to panic. What kind of books do they have in the middle school library. Our school was built shortly after the invasion of Normandy...I'm thinking...maybe it's left over WWII propaganda literature.

Me: "Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but me and Dad are the Tooth Fairy, Leprechauns aren't really, and, no, aliens did not invade Europe in 1944."

Elle: "Oh, I totally believe in Leprechauns." This conversation has just taken an even more bizarre turn.

Me: "What in the world did you have for breakfast today, child?"

Elle: (not missing a beat and COMPLETELY serious): "Lucky Charms"

At that point in time Bradley, who was also in the car about peed his pants laughing so hard!

When I queried her about why she believed in Leprechauns she told me that she was at a friends' house recently, and a group of girls were sitting around a kitchen table. One of the girls scooted her chair out to go to the bathroom, but by the time she got back, the chair was back in place. Elle deduced that a Leprechaun had definitely pushed the chair back in. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or to call a therapist. That girl was CONVINCED that Leprechauns existed and that they could move chairs!

Incidentally, I scrounged around in Elle's room until I found the book about aliens and 1944. She should have read the book....instead of just looking at the pictures. She must have concocted a story in her head based on her understanding of the photos. The book was about crop circles throughout the world. There must have been some reference to the 1940s. Other than that, there is no logical answer to her deduction of aliens invading Europe in 1944.

Dominique-

She can come up with some real doozies, too. Smaller kids sometimes hear a word and think they know the meaning. Then when they try to use the word in a sentence, it can be pretty funny. I found a few of Dom's bloops written in my journal today.

1) Pig's indigestion. She was referring to sausauge and the fact that pig's *intestines" are used to case sausage. It came out "pig's indigestion," though.

2) "Mr. Randall (her 4th grade teacher) would never take money from the Governor." I'm thinking....is there some state scandal going on with the Governor paying teachers off for some weird reason. I asked her to clarify.

She said, "Mr. Randall said that no matter how poor he got, he would never take money from the Governor."

Me: "Honey, do you mean the 'government'?"

Dom: "Yeah, that."

Me: "And how did this come up in your 4th Grade classroom today?"

Dom: "Oh, we were talking about welfare."

Me: "Ooooohhhhhh, reeeeaaaalllly?" I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but teachers have TREMENDOUS influence over what kids think. Dom would say nearly every day, "Mr. Randall said....." followed by some interesting tid-bit of information. Sometimes I think Mr. Randall crossed the line, but all in all...I think he did more good than harm. He got the kids thinking.

3) "Exculsive Branch of Government." You know where this one is going....she was learning about the *Executive Branch* of government....although, some might argue that *Exclusive Branch* is not a bad name for it!

Write down the funny things your kids say!!!

Blessed with exactly what we need...

2011-02-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

So, I don't often talk about religious-like things on this blog. In fact, some who don't know me well might even be a bit surprised to learn that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka Mormon Church). Not only am I a member, but I go every week...and I teach Sunday School (or did until quite recently).

I'm probably the anti-Mormon, Mormon. I swear. Damn straight, I do. I've tried to stop, but I guess I just don't want to. (This bothers my sweet husband who only swears under his breath, so I do try extra hard to quit...every single day I try again ;-) I'm kind of a feminist. I am just fine with gay marriage (civil marriages). I drink Diet Coke...and LOTS of it. I watch Rated R movies and enjoy the ones that I do watch (and by the way, if I don't like a movie...no matter what the rating, I just turn it off...and I do that a lot...especially because I'm not a fan of violence or ridiculous usage of the f-word). I watch lots of TV and shamelessly enjoy it...even those shows which some would deem to have little value or be morally questionable. I recently experimented with wearing slacks to church, violating the unspoken law that thou shalt only wear skirts or dresses. No one died when I wore slacks; they were nice slacks. It was not a commentary on anything other than the fact that I wanted to wear slacks, and I find them much more comfortable that pantyhose and a skirt.

But...despite all of that. I do believe...deeply.

One of the things that Dean and I do is pay tithing. We pay 10% of our net income in tithing to the church. Sometimes we are better at this than other times. It is a sacrifice for us. However, we truly believe that everything we have comes as a result of that higher being we call God. We figure, if He has given us all we have, it's not a lot to give 10% back to perpetuate the cause.

We are unbelievably blessed when we make this donation. I can tell you countless stories of how I never thought I would be able to get to the next paycheck...but when I pay my tithing with faith...that I am blessed temporally with EXACTLY what I need. I can't explain it. It just happens.

So, this past year was a tough one. I cried on many occasions because Dean didn't have a job. That put a pretty tough financial burden on us, and we made a lot of cutbacks. I feel like I, personally, made a lot of sacrifices. I really wanted to go to Hawaii for my40th Birthday. Instead, I had a lovely home cooked dinner with some great friends. I would have loved to do our two-week family vacation to Oklahoma and Arkansas. We just couldn't do it. Instead, we were able to send to the kids to Seattle while Dean accompanied me on a business trip to Japan and Guam.

In the middle of all of that....I paid off two credit cards. Granted, they had small balances, but I paid them off...no more monthly payments on those! I also managed to pay for my tuition and Dean's tuition with CASH; I have vowed not to take out any more student loans. I'm sticking by that. This year will be the worst for me as I'm enrolled full time in my PhD program. I've already paid for 1 semester with cash; 2nd semester should be just fine.

We have all of our bills paid (on time). We have enough food. We have clothes to wear. We have gas for our cars. We had a good Christmas with the girls. We have EXACTLY what we need (and some left over to save and share).

This year when we did our taxes, I as so hoping that we wouldn't have to pay. Last year, I got dinged with a federal and a state tax bill. It sucked...big time. This year, we paid our tithing more faithfully...and we did all of those other things I mentioned.

We didn't have to pay extra taxes. In fact, we got a really, really nice return. Guess what the first thing I did today when I got the money? You guessed it, I paid my tithing on that refund money. What was left over? Enough to pay off one of Dean's credit cards, pay my residual AmEx bill for the month and pay my tuition balance for the semester. What was left over after that? Less than one dollar! How cool is that!?! I smiled when I saw the balance. I thought, yep, that's God taking good care of us....do what He asks...and we are blessed with EXACTLY what we need.

We're not millionaires, and we never will be. However, we're blessed with spiritual blessings that money can't buy! I love it when things work out like that....helps me know that this Diet Coke drinking, feminist Mormon who swears is not any better or worse than the rest of them there Mormons. Me and God have our own little thing worked out, and I'm cool with that.

Peace out!

President Jimmy Carter, please pick up on line 4

2011-02-21T21:06:00.000-08:00

I put this as my FB status, but it was such a hoot that it deserves a bit more explanation. Today is President's Day, and what do all good Americans do on President's Day? Well, of course, we shop. I stopped by my favorite ghetto Sears store in downtown SLC to buy some new shoes. I was completely sucked into the bowels of the store by enticements of "Up to 70% Off" signs wooing me deeper and deeper into the store.

I made my way to the women's shoe section when I hear, "President Obama, please dial" (then some number was stated). At first I thought that some smart ass clerk was just messing around. Then I hear a page for Presidents Bush and Ford. I thought that everyone at the Sears store had lost their damn minds!

I asked the shoe clerk what was going on. She told me that in honor of President's Day that the store management had taken on the names of the Presidents. I said, "How do you know who Obama is?" She said, "Oh, that's the store manager." She then explained that Bush was the assistant manager, Clinton was the manager below the assistant manager and so forth. Quite clever if you ask me.

A woman who over heard our conversation then said to the clerk, "So who are you, Nancy Reagan?"

As I bought 3 pair of shoes, two handbags, two dresses, 2 coats, four shirts and a pair of mittens, I enjoyed hearing the paging of our US Presidents. Hey, at least they were recognizing that the holiday actually had a meaning beyond that of exercising our capitalism.

I love my ghetto Sears.

Sounds like life to me...

2011-02-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

I've been busy lately....really busy. And when I'm not busy doing things, I worry about all of the things I should be doing!

A few things on my list (and this is just in the past two weeks!):

I'm in school full time this term (I'm deferring one project until summer, so that helps quite a bit.) I have class on Thursday nights from 2-5 the 6-9. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds, but it makes me feel silly for complaining about taking one class last term.
I've been taking an active role in issues related to our local middle school. There is a proposal on the table to talk about adjusting or eliminating certain curriculum and programs, and I've been trying to work with my local school administrators and PTA to make sure our facts are straight and our opinions are submitted. Seriously, being engaged at this level takes a lot of time
State government. The legislature is in session, and I spent one whole day last week up at the statehouse...and of course, I expressed my opinions about education to Utah lawmakers.
Sweethearts Dance. I'm so grateful that Mariah wants Dean and me to be part of the dance day activities. This past Saturday we cooked breakfast for the gang then I sent them on a scavenger hunt. This seems like a small task, but it literally took my entire Saturday, and I spent a good three hours before that planning and shopping. Click here to read about it.
I've gotten a new drivers license.
We did our taxes.
I've taken care of countless things that just need to get done.

Whew...see what I mean....

But even in these busy times...I have so much to be thankful for! Here are a few things that I've been especially grateful for these past two weeks:

The world's best husband!
The world's best kids! I love them so much! (and I freak out every time I realize how quickly they are growing up....)
A job that keeps my mind active and allows me to use my talents
Enough money to pay all of the bills and a little left over to save
The fact that I can read. I love to read. It brings me a lot of joy, and I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read.
Friends who listen to me bitch about life (and you know who you are ;-)
Neighbors who willingly and lovingly take care of our girls on Thursday nights when I'm at school and Dean is working.

The second list is the most important list! For that, I'm truly grateful!

A Sweethearts Scavenger Hunt

2011-02-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Saturday was the Sweetheart's Dance at Jordan High School. Here in Utah, they kids make a whole day of any dance event....which is weird to me...but oh, well! Last year for Sweethearts, Dean and I made Mariah and her friends a Chinese themed dinner, and while dinner was finishing, I sent the kids on a scavenger hunt in our neighborhood. ...you know...find a house with Christmas lights still up...find a house with a 9 and a 5 in the address...that kind of thing.

This year, she asked me if I would make a "big" scavenger hunt that took a couple of hours. Challenge! I put on my creative hat and created what I think is a pretty good little scavenger hunt for Salt Lake City. They divided into two teams: boys vs girls. I had no idea it would take them 4 HOURS to do this scavenger hunt, but it did. They had to take pictures or video to provide evidence of their accomplishments.

Here is how it all turned out:

Fortitude, Integrity, Honor and Patience are their names. They live on one of the most important “hills” in the “capitol” city. They are white…and they are BIG…but they are only statues. Look for them on the east side of this most important structure where laws are made. When you find one…you must act like a lion tamer.

Garrett:

Mariah, Audrey and Jordynn (Not quite sure how this is lion taming...)

Now that you’ve tamed the lion, let’s visit someone who wears a different kind of hat. Isn’t life grand in America? Find a uniformed bellman at the only 5 Star Downtown hotel and take a picture! Bonus points if you can get the manager to appear in the picture with you!

Mariah with the Bellman (smiling):

Kalen with the Bellman (not quite sure what face that is...): He was Utah’s first territorial governor, and he had a house full of wives. He holds his hand out…some say with it reaching toward Zions Bank (for money). Find this iconic statute downtown and pose like Brother Brigham in the statue. Bonus points if you can get a random person on the street to pose with you!

Garrett posing like Brigham: The girls posing...but Brigham not in the statue!“I’ve got joy like a fountain!” Find the way…and it doesn’t really require gate…to this popular summertime fountain…where kids frolic and moms can rest from their shopping. You think you’re going in the fountain? Guess again. Get a bottle of water…and you guessed it…you become the fountain. Water must come out of your mouth for your fountain picture. Get creative!

Old timers still call it the Delta Center. In the 1990s, these two men lead the Jazz to back to back NBA finals against the Bulls (and unfortunately lost two years in a row). They both are immortalized in bronze outside of the house that Larry built. Strike a pose like one of the NBA hall of famers. You must be in front of their actual statue. Hint: props will help make this photo complete. BTW…the mailman is in town…and if you could get him in a picture with you, you win $100 (no joke)….it doesn’t have to be a picture at statue.

Mariah didn't *get* the reference to the "mailman" was about Karl Malone. So, they found a real mailman and got him to pose in the picture!

In 1997, lightening struck this tree, and people believe that what was left is an image of the Virgin Mary. For almost 14 years people have paid tribute to this tree in downtown Salt Lake City. Don’t been offensive (and offend those who actually believe that you can see the image of the Virgin Mary in the trunk of the tree), but get a picture of you and your party at the tree.

Notice how Garrett is solemn and respectful and Mariah "poses" next to the Virgin Mary tree! In the 2nd largest park in Salt Lake City, you’ll find a collection of over 400 species of birds. Pay your entrance fee and find at least 5 of the birds in the list.

At this stage of the scavenger hunt, the boys lied to the girls and told them that they were almost done. So the girls decided to take their time and have fun. I let the girls know that the boys had fibbed..and the girls took off to finish the hunt. Bald EagleSome birdFlamingos!!!

You don’t have to be an Einstein to understand political theory. At the Starbucks on 15th South and 15th East find a barista named Rosa. Ask her, “What are the three types of pluralism?” Write the answer on one of those Starbucks cup sleeves and bring it home with you.

My friend, Rosa, helped me out on this one! I don't have a picture to go with this....

It was 20 year ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play….and in 2004, the artist who did the original album cover for Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club band created a more modern version on a downtown wall. Find the mural called SLC Pepper, and when you take your picture, put yourself in the crowd…or pose as how you might fit in the crowd.

The girls got two homeless guys to be in the picture...then after the picture the guys asked them for money. *Classic*

What is the greatest university in the state? While the U, of course. In the plaza in front of the Marriott Library (at the U) build a human pyramid…and of course…the person on top should somehow show that you’re pyramid is for the U! Bonus if you can get U of U students to help you and/or be in your picture.

The guy in the pic recruited all of the by-standers to be in the pic. But....they boys got a girl to be on top!!!

They had SO MUCH FUN! I asked my neighbors, Kim and Doreen to judge and distribute the prizes. The prizes were Chili's gift cards...and conveniently, that is where they had dinner that night. I have no idea how I will top this next year!

Click >>HERE<< to see the scavenger hunt list.

Remembering January 28, 1986

2011-01-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

For my mother's generation, it was the assassination of John F. Kennedy. For my generation, it was the Space Shuttle. Everyone knows where they were when they found out that the space shuttle had exploded. I know exactly where I was: second floor, West Campus Main Building, typing class, right before lunch. I was a sophomore at Pekin Community High School.

Jason Christensen sat right in front of me in typing class (we were seated alphabetically....and consequently, I spent a large portion of my K-12 career seated in the near vicinity to Jason Christensen!) Jason was a bit of a class clown.....he doesn't remember this (because I mentioned it to him at our 20 year reunion), but he used to make Russian dictator trading cards. There was a stint there in the mid-80s when the Russian rulers were dropping dead nearly every other month. He worked quite hard on these cards, and he would show them to me in typing class....but I digress. Because Jason was a bit of a joke-ster, I didn't believe him when he told me of the disaster. I honestly don't think I believed it until I heard from someone else....probably at lunch.

Remember, the entire US was watching as the first civilian, a teacher, was on board the shuttle. Christa McAullife was to teach the first ever lessons to US school children from space. Kids were assembled all over the country to watch the launch. It was a high profile launch...considering it had been delayed so many times...and that added to the magnitude of the disaster.

I remember coming home that day after school and my neighbor, Krystal, was sobbing. I turned on the TV and watched it again and again and again. Later that night President Reagan spoke to the nation. I'm not sure why, but I remember that.

I was born after the first American walked on the moon (but *just* after). I grew up with United States superiority in the space race...which was only amplified by the Cold War and our desire to do everything better than the Russians.

I remember on February 1, 2003 that I called my old friend Melissa when the Columbia Space Shuttle disaster was eerily close to the anniversary of the Challenger. For what ever reason, this disaster didn't seem to be nearly as traumatic for the American populous. It was like re-living the event for me.

I truly regret that I never saw a shuttle launch. I really do. I'm deeply enamoured by space, the final frontier. I did a report in third grade on Robert Goddard. Don't know who he is? Look him up. I cry every time I watch the movies: Apollo 13 and October Sky. It's a deeply emotional thing for me for some reason....probably in part because the Challenger disaster was such a deeply emotional event.

I'm hopeful that we don't abandon innovation in space exploration. Life is so complex, and we have limited resources and so many human problems to manage. However, since the beginning of time, it's always been all about space. Whether you believe in the Big Bang Theory, Evolution of something in-between....matter...from space...organized to create this really awesome planet that we know reside upon. Some of the greatest challenges and seemingly impossible feats have generated unbelievable outcomes and progress in science and industry. As we are in the twilight of the space shuttle program, I hope....deeply....that we are looking for the next big thing in space exploration. I hope that 25 years from now I tell my grand kids about that day in 1986 as one that was an important step in the progressional development of aerospace technology...not the beginning of the end of it.

A truly great man...

2011-01-15T18:31:00.000-08:00

About 10 years ago, Gerald Ericksen served in the bishopric in my ward (Salt Lake 12th Ward). He was in charge of activities, and I was the activities chair, so we worked very closely together. My church association with him endeared me to him forever, and I don't think I've ever met a better man than him. Honestly. He is truly an amazing person.

One time when I was feeling like we weren't making any progress in our efforts, he called me out of the blue to tell me that we were doing exactly what we'd been asked to do and that we could do no more than that. He would do that...he'd just randomly call me with ideas and questions. My little job in the church and his oversight of it was something he took very seriously.

As I learned more about his life, my respect for him grew. I have attached his obituary (below) so you can see how wonderful he was for yourself! He told me about his recollection of Pearl Harbor Day. He was in the cafeteria at Yale. When he hear the news, he told me that he went to the Dean of the Divinity School and withdrew from the University. There was no question in his mind that he would be needed by his country, and he returned almost immediately out West. He then applied for a position as chaplain in the US Army. This process was most rigorous. He related to me the dissertation that he had to write to even be considered for the position. He then went to Fort Douglas (by the University of Utah) to defend his dissertation. He told me how intensive the process was and how the committee really put him through the ringer. He was accepted as one of the only LDS chaplains in the US Army (if not the only one...I would have to go back and look at the records.)

He told me about his time in Saipan. My two great Uncles served near him on the island of Tinian. There is a short history about his experiences that is typed and is available in the 12th Ward Library. I need to go get a copy. He told me that he personally wrote a letter to the family of every soldier who died. That touched my heart deeply. If you knew Brother Ericksen, you would know that these letters must have included the most sincerest of sentiments and most heartfelt words of love.

I remember when one of his adult children passed away. We had a ward council meeting that morning, and it was announced to the council. Brother Ericksen was at that meeting. There were several of us on the council who openly wept. We had never met his child, but for me, the though of such a loss....for a man that I cared deeply for...struck me at my very soul. It was a seemingly irrational reaction considering the circumstances, but I suppose that I can say that I loved Brother Ericksen, and I was hurting because I knew that he hurt.

I'm so grateful that I got to know this man. I haven't been in that ward for over 8 years, by I asked my friend Sara Merrill to keep me apprised of his situation. I wanted to know when he passed because I think if I listen very carefully that I can hear concourses of angels welcoming him and applauding when he gets to see his dear wife again. I look forward to a day where we are all hanging out on the other side of the veil swapping life stories. I would love to hear more detail about his WWII experiences. I would love to introduce him to my uncles (who fortunately have not yet passed). I look forward to that experience....someday. I hope you take the time to read about his life. He was truly a great man.

Gerald Leland Ericksen "Together again" Gerald Leland Ericksen, our loving and ever-cheerful father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, died peacefully January 9, 2011, at 96 years of age. He was born March 17, 1914, in Mt. Pleasant, Utah, to Erick Henry and Annie Christina Monsen Ericksen, the youngest of nine children.

His father died when Jerry was 14 years old, just before the Great Depression hit. He and his widowed mother struggled through the depression together. Jerry never made excuses or felt his life was hard, but faced each day with optimism and smiled as he moved forward.

Jerry never met a stranger and was a born leader, serving as the president of his high school, Snow College, and in many leadership positions throughout his long and productive life. He graduated from BYU and then started graduate work at the Yale Divinity School in the fall of 1941. His education was interrupted by the outbreak of World War II and he served as an Army Chaplain in the Pacific theater, including extensive service on the island of Saipan. He was awarded the Bronze Star for meritorious service.

After the war he was recruited into the life insurance business by Sterling W. Sill. He was the General Manager of the Utah Office of the New York Life Insurance Company for 20 years.

Jerry married the love of his life, Erna Mary Sconberg, July 8, 1942, in San Francisco, California, while he was in training on an army base. They had met two years earlier at the Grand Canyon, where he was a bell hop and played trombone in the band, and she was a waitress. Their marriage was solemnized the following year in the Salt Lake Temple.

Jerry's professional work took them to New York, California, and then back to Utah. They had been married for 66 years when Erna died March 13, 2009. He always treated her like a queen, and called her his "livin'doll." Their love and consideration for each other was an inspiration to their family, and to all who knew them.

Jerry loved the Savior and served in many capacities in the LDS Church, including as a missionary in the Southern States Mission from 1935 to 1937, and as president of the Salt Lake Emigration Stake.

Upon his retirement from New York Life he and Erna presided over the Connecticut Hartford Mission from 1979 to 1982. They loved New England and their missionaries, and treasured those relationships the rest of their lives.

At age 83 Jerry was called into a bishopric for the first time in his life, and served for six years. In all of his assignments his smile, sense of humor, organized approach, and love for people made him effective in his work, and loved by those who knew him.

Jerry was preceded in death by his parents and siblings, his wife, daughter Mimi Ericksen, and son Robert Ericksen, who died three days before Jerry's passing. He is survived by three of his children: Karen (David) Fuhriman, David (Irene) Ericksen, and Eric (Kathy) Ericksen, as well as 14 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.

A funeral service will be held Saturday, January 15, 2011, at 1:30 p.m. at the Federal Heights Ward chapel located at 1300 East Fairfax Road. Friends may call Friday, January 14, from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Larkin Mortuary at 260 East South Temple, as well as at the ward prior to the service, from 12:30 to 1:15 p.m. Interment will be at the Wasatch Lawn Memorial Park, 3401 South Highland Drive. The family wishes to thank the VA Nursing Home for their care of our father, as well as Frankie Loftus and Dr. Jane McPherson of Utah Hospice Specialists.

The things children fear....

2011-01-12T22:19:00.000-08:00

Tonight I watched the Nightline special on the "memorial" meeting that took place in Tuscon tonight. (I watch Nightline almost every night.)

Dan Harris did a segment with school children who had written letters to Gabrielle Giffords. Kids are so cool. They tell you exactly what they are thinking. A young boy said that he was afraid the the shooter might know where his classroom was (implying that he might be able to hurt people in his class). Dan, of course, reassured the young boy that the shooter could not hurt anyone else.

It reminded me so much of my experience with Dominique almost four years ago when we discussed the Virginia Tech shooting. I received my Masters in Political Science from Virginia Tech in their On-line Masters Program. I'd been to campus a few times, and I decided to walk at graduation and take the whole family with me for this important occasion. Graduation happened less than 3 weeks after the 2007 shootings.

In April 2007, Dom would have been 9 and in the 4th grade.

We talked about the shooting, and we all wore our Hokie colors on the Friday after the shooting; I put that family picture in my graduation announcements.

(And my walls are gross and ugly here with no paint on them yet.)

Anyway....several days after the incident, Dom came home from our neighbor's house and she said, "Lisa said that the guy who killed all those people killed himself." She was noticeably relieved. I said, "Were you worried about going to campus, Dom?" She said that she was worried that the killer was still at Virginia Tech, and she was nervous to go to the graduation because of that. It struck me then that we need to give our kids "all" of the information...not just parts. I was surprised that she thought that!

It reminded me of the segment tonight on Nightline when a young boy feared that the killer in the Tuscon shootings could still somehow hurt him.

I'm always surprised at the information that kids cling to and what they fear. I felt badly that Dominique thought I would put her in harm's way. We talked for a long time as a family about the VT shootings, and we made a special point to pay our respects to the fallen when we went to campus.

Here is Dom signing the memorial board. She wrote, "I'm so, so sorry." Simple and heartfelt.

Here is the whole gang looking at the tributes to the 32 Hokies who died. That make-shift memorial has now become a permanent one.

Here is me and Domi after my graduation. She wanted to "wear the hat." We are by Lane Stadium.

There were 12 students in the International Studies/Poli-Sci Department who were slain. At the department graduation, they all received their degrees posthumously. It was the saddest thing I have ever been to. I cried and cried and cried and cried. It was so hard to be "happy" on that day...and I was because of my huge accomplishment, but it was tempered by the tragedy.

My kiddos learned a lot of lessons from the trip to campus. Some had to do with the tragedy. I'm also hopeful that they remember that the reason we took them all out there to see me graduate was to show them what a college graduation was like to inspire them to achieve that for themselves.

This is our dorky family looking every which way but at the camera! I love very single one of them, though!

I cried today....

2011-01-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

for Gabrielle Giffords and for those who were killed because she was a target.

I don't cry very often, but when I do, there are distinctive kinds of cries. Sometimes I cry when I'm sentimental or when my heart is touched. Those tears come from nowhere and last a very short period of time. There are cries that I've cried over my kids when they have broken my heart. Those are guttural cries that usually result in only what I can describe as sobs. Those cries can last a while, but once I get it all out, it's usually better. Then there are cries like today.

I've never met Congresswoman Giffords. I have to be honest and say that I'd never even heard of her until today. I was stunned when I read the news (on facebook) that she and others had been shot at a constituent event. At one point in time there was a report that she had died from her injuries. That is when my tears began.

This is difficult to describe, but I wasn't crying for Giffords.....not really. I was, but I wasn't.

I love my country, and I love politics. I have spent a lot of scholarly time studying the genesis of our government. I have read the Federalist paper...and the anti-Federalist papers. I have read the arguments that defined the ratification of the Constitution, states rights and the intended role of representation in Congress.

I cried because "It's not supposed to be this way."

How do we get to a point in the country when an elected member of Congress...who is reaching out to constituents on a Saturday morning...at a grocery store...ends in a tragic shooting. How does that happen? I can't think of anything more American than a representative meeting and greeting constituents she represents. I can think of anything more un-American than intentionally shooting that same woman in the head.

These tears were different....they were kind of desperate tears. Elle asked me what was wrong, and I told her that I would explain it to her, but I didn't think she'd understand. She listened and nodded, but it's hard to explain. I remember when I found out in 1995 that the Oklahoma City federal building had been bombed by an American, former solider. I was deeply saddened. This is kind of like that. McVeigh got his due but at the expense of 168 people who died and countless others who were injured. Yes, OKC was much, much worse with regard to the sheer destruction and the number of casualties, but in some ways, these two events seem to be similar. (And I write that recognizing that this is all still fresh and the details are not all confirmed.)

McVeigh was pissed about Waco and had hatched a plan to tell the federal government just how pissed he was. This asshole who shot the Congresswoman was clearly sending some kind of statement, too. Whether the intent was to specifically target the Congresswoman and whatever his reason (dissatisfaction with the government or whatever), the crime is still very similar. How is any elected representative just doing her job...who was elected by constituents in that district a target of a disgruntled American. It is just not logical. It is just wrong.

I don't want to jump to conclusions because I don't know all of the facts. I will probably blog about this again in the days to come. I've been in such a funk all day. This has really hit me hard.
I've blogged about this before. I even wrote: Our greatest weakness to our nation will be complete chaos and disunity from within. You can read it in THIS blog post from 2009. Even before today I have felt that the country is out of whack. Perhaps his is an over-simplification, but it seems to have coincided directly with the Obama election. That is when the divisive rhetoric began (and if anyone has any other thoughts on that, please let me know).

Rhetoric for the sake of trying to control an outcome is...well..it's OK. FALSE and mean spirited and divisive rhetoric is irresponsible, reprehensible and perhaps punishable. I implore people to look at FACTS and made decisions...and use the proper process to influence change. I'm not convinced that this "Republican vs Democrat co-mingled with some unidentifiable tea party objective" is effective or healthy.

I had best stop for now or I will only be making assumptions.

I cried today. I don't intend to cry tomorrow. I intend to try and be a voice of truth and reason and civility and respect.

Peaches and Herb and the Scriptures??

2010-12-29T18:12:00.000-08:00

So, I've been on this marathon reading event with Dominique and Elle. We've been reading the Book of Mormon *most* days since Thanksgiving in an effort to finish it by the new year. We will fall short of our goal, but we'll finish it sometime in January. It is a monumental feat no matter how you look at it.

We're way past the 1/2 way mark and it's all done but the readin' for now.

Recently we read a long explanation in the BOM regarding death and resurrection. For those who are unaware, Latter Day Saint doctrine teaches that the spirit and body separate at death and that resurrection (a reuniting of spirit and body) is a gift that will be given to everyone at some future point in time (after Christ comes again....but then it gets a bit tricky because there are multiple resurrections, blah, blah, blah). ANYWAY!

When we finished reading that part in the scriptures, I asked Elle if she understood what was said, and she said, all I could think of were the lyrics, "Reunited...and it feels so good..."

I laughed and laughed and laughed. All day long, we would just start singing "Reunited...." and laugh some more.

Who knew that this chorus from Peaches and Herb:

(Chorus:)
Reunited, and it feels so good
Reunited, 'cause we understood
There's one perfect fit
And, sugar, this one is it
We both are so excited
'Cause we're reunited
Hey, hey

had a secret, second meaning!!!!

I've loved this experience in reading with Dom and Elle. I don't know if they are getting anything out of it, but I sure am!

12 Days of Christmas

2010-12-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

This year for Christmas, I wanted to achieve two things 1) keep it simple (and relatively inexpensive) and 2) make sure that the girls got something they really wanted. Last year was kind of a bust. Even though I try, I always kind of miss the mark with their clothes and shoes. Let's face it...I'm kind of an old lady, and while I think that I'm still hip enough to pick out cool teen clothes, I'm not. So....such that neither they nor I would be disappointed, I crafted a plan. We did a 12 Days of Christmas Christmas.

The girls on Christmas morning (before the present opening began).
The 12 days of Christmas went something like this.....all neat and packaged...and painstakingly adorned with the pictures of the 12 days of Christmas on every.single.package. I printed out pages with the "clues" to the gifts on them. Mariah read each one then they opened the presents.

This gift was a "pair" of earrings.

This one was a small box of turtles (candies) and a bag of Dove candies.

This was a $5.00 McDonald's gift card so they could get their favorite meal (chicken nuggets and french fries).

This was 4 free downloads for their cell phones. We don't let them download things, so they were kind of psyched about this one. They would have been more excited about free texting, but we don't let them do that either.

This was a $15.00 gift certificate to Claire's They love buying crap from Claire's. I did, too, when I was their age.
This one was kind of hokie. I got Easter eggs and filled them with various kinds of M&Ms. Unfortunately, I could only find 12 eggs...the ones Dean got for me last Easter and hid in my office...so I gave each of the kids 4 eggs. They LOVED the candy. In fact, the next day at church, Mariah pulled out her new make up bag from her purse and it was FILLED with M&Ms! I just laughed and laughed!

I ordered rubber duckies online (24 of them). I put 7 in a box and put a $25.00 Bath and Body Works gift card in with it. I was kind of proud of the rubber duckies idea. They all bought lip gloss from BBW.

We have a cleaning lady who comes once every other week. (We DO NOT call her a maid, though.) Earlier this year I instructed her not to clean the girls' bathroom any more because they need to learn how to keep it clean on their own. They were being 1st class slobs and would say things like, "The cleaning lady will clean it." Um......I don't think so! So, now we are on a rotation....Mariah, Elle then Dom clean it...and rotate every Saturday. This gift was $20.00 (or the approximate amount that it costs to have Karen clean their bathroom). They chose to spend the cash. No surprises there!

This was a $10.00 iTunes gift card.

The younger girls have been telling me for months that they want Vans (a brand of shoe). I have been telling them for months that they are not getting Vans from me. I got Dom and Elle $30.00 gift cards to the Vans store. Riah got $30.00 to Payless (she's not as big of a fan of Vans). This was a $100.00 gift card. It can be used at Gap, Banana Republic or Old Navy. This was the BIG surprise. They got iHomes (which are devices that you can plug your ipod into so you can hear it). The only one who has an ipod is Dominique. So, Mariah and Elle were like..."uh, thanks." Then I said to Dom, "Keep looking in the box." Hidden in the bottom were the new nano slide ipods. They were quite surprised. You can see Dom's mouth agape in this picture.

It was a very good Christmas. I was worried that the hokie gifts at the beginning were not going to be received well, but they loved their 12 Days of Christmas. They have told everyone about their presents, and Dominique told me, "It was the best Christmas ever." I'm so glad! I'm so, so glad!

A Danley Family Christmas Tradition

2010-12-27T19:29:00.000-08:00

I wrote this for my kid brother, Adam, and gave it to him on Christmas Eve. He's 14 years younger than me, and we didn't grow up together. Unfortunately, he also never experienced these family traditions (and other family-isms). It's so important that we write down these kinds of things! My kids are ALWAYS asking us to tell stories about them when they were little. They love hearing the stories (and I'm amazed that they don't remember!)

This story refers to my paternal grandparents who are Eugene Howard Danley and Mildred Smith Danley. They died in 1981 and 1987, respectively.

Enjoy this glimpse into my past....

I never knew my grandparents to have much money. That was because they didn’t. My earliest memories are of visiting my Grandma and Grandpa Danley in public housing on the South Side of Peoria. I was too young to know that it was public housing. It didn’t matter to me. It was Grandma and Grandpa Danley.

In the summertime, Grandpa never wore clothes. It sounds a bit ridiculous today, but he was often found sitting at the kitchen table in his underwear. It wasn’t gross or perverted. It was, quite simply, cooler that way. To the best of my recollection, there was no “central air” in the projects, and I don’t even think that they had an air conditioner. If I had to guess, they probably had those old school box fans to cool the place down. Hence, Grandpa in his underwear.

I’d always go and give Grandpa a kiss, and he was ALWAYS happy to see his grandkids.

ALWAYS.

If he knew I was coming, he would shave (because I hated his mid-day stubble).

I digress. This is a story about a very important Danley Family Tradition.

Because there was not a lot of money and because there were a lot of grandkids, Grandma and Grandpa had to be judicious in their gift giving. Every grandchild received a two-dollar bill every single year. It was in a money holder (the kind with the circle cut out so you could see the mug of Thomas Jefferson). This was the only Christmas gift I ever received from Grandma and Grandpa Danley. I looked forward to it every year. It meant a lot to me. I loved getting that two dollar bill. I wish I could tell you that I saved them all, but I didn’t. I spent every single one of them.

I was 17 the year grandma died, and although I don’t remember it, I’m confident that I received my last two dollar bill from her during my 16th Christmas.

Because funds were low, Grandma always made fudge for the families. Every family got one Christmas tin of “Grandma’s Fudge.” This was a treat even more anticipated than the two dollar bills. I looked forward to that fudge every single year. Each piece of fudge was cut into a bite sized piece and wrapped in tin foil. The pieces were then placed in the tins, and the tins were given to the families. I don’t know if it was because Grandma made the fudge or what, but that fudge was delicious to me. For years after Grandma died, other family members tried to carry on the tradition of the fudge, but it was never quite the same.

The fudge was made with “marshmallow fluff.” Yes, it is a real product. It comes in a jar, and it’s essentially whipped marshmallows. This is the recipe. This is the new, updated version of the same recipe from the http://www.marshmellowfluff.com/ website. The differences in the recipes are probably accounted for in the size of the jar of fluff (if I had to guess). The ingredients are the same, the quantities are just different.

Never-Fail-Fudge

2 1/2 c. sugar
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 stick butter or margarine
15 oz. can evaporated milk (2/3 c.)
1 Jar (7 1/2oz) Marshmallow Fluff
3/4 tsp. vanilla
1 12-oz. package semi-sweet chocolate pieces
1 /2 c. chopped walnuts

Grease a 9-inch square baking pan; set aside. In large saucepan combine the first 5 ingredients. Stir over low heat until blended. Increase heat to Medium and bring to a full-rolling boil being careful not to mistake escaping air bubbles for boiling. Boil slowly, stirring constantly for 5 minutes (use Soft-Ball test). Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and chocolate until chocolate is melted. Add nuts. Turn into greased pan and cool. Makes 2 1/2 pounds.

At this point in time, I gave my brother a 2 dollar bill, and I promised to make the fudge next year so that we could re-establish this tradition.

A few Christmas Eve images....

2010-12-25T18:16:00.000-08:00

We had a small family gathering on Christmas Eve. It was all of us plus Elise and Garrett and my brother Adam (who was not yet here when week took these pictures).

Our Tree
Me and Dean

Mariah and Garrett
Bradley and Elise
We read the Christmas story from the Bible (Luke 2) and sang a few Christmas carols...Opened a few gifts....
And just hung out....
It was a very good night.

Answer the question, please...

2010-12-23T21:41:00.000-08:00

My fourth (and mercifully, last) teenager is upon me. I keep hoping, "This one will be different." This one won't mouth off...won't sneak around, won't discover boys...in short, I was hoping that this one wouldn't be plagued with the other teenage realities that we experienced with the previous three (let me say that for Bradley, he discovered girls, not boys). I have, however, been disappointed. This last one is just like the others. Notably, she has learned to never answer a direct question I ask.

My conversations with the kids go something like this.

Me: What are you doing?
Kid: I *just* got here.
Me: I didn't ask the time frame of your arrival. I asked what you are doing.

See what I mean?

Me: Who ate the tortillas? (a serious crime in our house...usually because I got tortillas as an ingredient for something else).
Kid: So-and so opened them.
Me: I didn't ask who opened them, I asked who ate them.
Kid: You let me eat them last time.
Me: So, who at the tortillas?

And that is how it goes.

Me: Did you clean your room?
Kid: I put my clothes away.
Me: Yes, but did you clean your room.
Kid: [Slight pause] Uh-huh.
Me: Is it "Wendy Clean?"
Kid: Slinks upstairs to clean said room.

I swear....I could ask something like this.

Me: Where is your coat?
Kid: I have gloves and a hat on.
Me: Where is your coat?
Kid: I am wearing warm socks.
Me: WHERE IS THE DAMN COAT?

At this point in time I usually found that the coat is 1) "Lost," 2) in the possession of a friend (mortal sin at our house), 3) in a locker and of course it is the weekend or school break.

How ever did they learn this evasive tactic?

I think they have always used it. I just think that I used to fall for it. It was a "distract with a diversionary tactic" ploy that I used to buy hook, line and sinker. Bradley was much better at the diversions than the younger ones. I'm getting older and smarter, and the last kid will suffer because of it. I'm constantly telling her, "I've had three other teenagers; I know how this game ends." She has to sigh and come up with new tactics. I don't have gray hair yet, but check back in 5 more years.

Best Christmas Pageant Ever

2010-12-19T22:37:00.000-08:00

We have a tradition at our house. I can't remember exactly how it began, but that's not really important. Each year we read this book:Each year, we get just a bit of resistance, but not too much. This year Dom said, "Why do we have to read this book every year?" We said, "Because it's what we do; it's our tradition."

If you haven't read the book, you should. It's narrated by an elementary school girl and chronicles her interactions with an unruly gaggle of neighbor kids called "The Herdmans." Due to an unfortunate turn of events, the narrator's mother has been put in charge of the annual church Christmas pageant. I don't care who you are, this story is funny. We laugh and laugh every single year.

This year, it is only Dean, me, Dom and Elle reading the book. Bradley practically lives at his girlfriend's house and only shows up to sleep and eat some stuff once a day. Mariah is always busy with work when we want to read, so it's just the four of us this year. It's no less meaningful.

I hope you have meaningful traditions with your family. I fully anticipate that, one day, I will be reading this book to grandchildren.

And as Gladys Herdman would say, "Hey, Unto you a child is born!" Merry Christmas!!!

A word about the new family picture....

2010-12-14T11:24:00.000-08:00

Now that the Christmas cards are all sent (all but 15 of them...which I have in my bag and intend to do tonight), I felt like we could change the family picture on the blog. You will notice that Bradley is noticeably absent from the picture (and the Christmas card). This was not intentional.

We actually tried to take family pictures with him in early October, but he was late by a few hours because of a previous commitment. Those pictures were kind of cruddy anyway. Then the opportunity came up for a photo shoot in later October...on a day that you would never have imagined would have been good for taking photos. We ran with it. Unfortunately, Bradley was out of town on that day.

We are *hoping* that before he goes we can get one more family picture with him in it. I just didn't want anyone to think that we intentionally left him out. We didn't. We still love him....most of the time ;-)

Benihana Birthdays

2010-12-12T20:48:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, my cousin, Kevin came to visit. It was a quick visit, but it was very nice. That night, we all went to Benihana for some great food. Here is a pic of Kevin, Dom and Elle waiting for our table to open.

Dom and Elle mesmerized by the preparation of the fried rice. Carrie, Dominique and Elle

Clearly, one of the best parts of the night is watching the meal preparation and all of the yummy food!

It all began when Elle wanted the seafood combo..then Dom followed suit. I normally would not spring for that expensive of a plate of food for the kids, but since we were (in part) celebrating Elle's birthday, I let them splurge.

We were also celebrating Carrie's birthday (which was a week ago).

They do birthdays up right at Benihana...."Happy Birthday to you...cha, cha, cha..." You get how it goes! We had a really fun night at one of our favorite places. In case you were wondering, Dean is out of town. Adam was there (just out of camera range), and Kevin was beside me. Fun times had by all...until we went down to coat check, and someone had stolen Carrie's coat. (Boo!)

I've got a feeling....

2010-12-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

OK...not every blog post from here on out will include lyrics by Sir Paul McCartney, I promise, but in this case, it seemed appropriate.

Tonight I'm in historic Charleston, South Carolina. I've been here before, once. It was a long time ago....maybe 10 years or more. It's a wonderful, historical city. It is where Fort Sumter is (and for those who don't know what that is....like anyone of my children, it is where the first battle of the Civil War began. When seven states seceded from the Union, South Carolina included, they demanded that the US Army leave Ft. Sumter because it was now the property of the...whatever those 7 states were calling themselves. Lincoln refused to retreat, declaring the secession unconstitutional. A battle ensued. The fort got the crap blown out of it. Viola! Beginning of the Civil War). But I digress.

I'm staying at an Embassy Suites in the center of the historic district. I got to my room, and it was one of those pleasant surprises...a room that keeps going and going and going. What struck me was the exposed brick in the bedroom. These pictures are pretty cruddy; they are from my blackberry in really bad light.

See how cool that is? You don't get that in many hotels...especially the big chains. I really appreciate buildings that have been restored because they have a history. See that window at the top of the pic? That's not even the top of the ceiling, BTW. I've seen that kind of window before, but it's usually in a fort or a battery.

Then I looked around the corner to see this (which is even a WORSE pic than the other one...really bad light).

Did I mention how much I was dreaming of taking a bath? Bonus! Big tub in nice room! LOVED IT. As I was having a quiet moment after my selfish indulgence, I was studying the brick in the wall. It was an interesting pattern. A row of full sized bricks then a row of 1/2 bricks...and the pattern repeated. About every 2 feet or so on the wall, there was a plank of wood....like an extra re-enforcement in the building structure. I looked again at those windows. I've seen those in old jails in Illinois (the Carthage Jail comes to mind). I've also seen them in castles and forts around the world.

As I sat there thinking, I literally had a "feeling." Now, I'm not claiming to be like Patricia Arquette in the TV Show "Medium" (which has been cancelled after this season), but I definitely felt a presence in the room...not evil...just a presence. I couldn't quite figure it all out, so I called down to the front desk to ask them what my room used to be...and inquired about the exposed brick and the little windows. I was told that this building was once an old fort and a military school. Ah....that explained it.

Super cool!

I love this part of the country. It is steeped in rich, American history. Living in the intermountain west, we have our own history, but it's different. The history of the east coast....especially in the places where blood was shed over many wars, over many generations is unique and special. I'm so grateful to be in this historic place and consider how this fort may have been used.

The "presence" doesn't scare me. It gives me comfort to know that I'm protected by well-trained soldiers.

If I never blog again, you'll all know that I was killed in my sleep by an evil, invasive spirit ;-)

Peace, out!

A Day in the Life....

2010-12-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

My morning started like stanza of Paul McCartney lyrics:

**Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head.
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
and Somebody spoke and I went into a dream..
Ahh....ahh, ah, ahhhhhhh**

(without the smoking part, of course....and my "cup" would have been filled with diet coke, not coffee...just keeping it real)

So, I was wiped out when I finally made it back to my hotel room last night in Baltimore. I ordered room service and took a nap at 8:00 PM until 9:30 PM. I snoozed my alarm until about 10:20 when Dean called. I got up, worked on studying for my exam....and finally went to bed at about 2:30 AM. I set my alarm for 4:45 AM with the intention of being on the hotel shuttle bus at 5:30 AM.

MY ALARM DID NOT GO OFF.

I happened to roll over at 6:09 AM. That's when I started rushing around. I've never missed a flight because I've overslept. My plane departed exactly 1 hour and 11 minutes from 6:09 AM (7:20 AM). I was downstairs in the lobby by 6:15 AM. Thank heavens I had packed everything the night before; I don't always do that. I did last night.

That's when all of the stars aligned for me.

The shuttle driver had just gotten back from dropping the 6:00 AM run. He immediately fired up the van and took me directly to Delta. The check in lines were mercifully short and quick. The security line was efficient, short and quick. My gate was less than 50 feet from the security check point. Seriously, it could not have turned out any better. I still had time to take a breath, organize my stuff and do my other pre-boarding routines.

With all that could have gone wrong in this scenario, I'm terribly grateful that it all worked out. I slept almost the entire way from Baltimore to SLC and woke to a perfect landing.

Grateful.

That's all I've got for today!

Ed Rollins "nails" how I view Sarah Palin....

2010-12-01T11:31:00.000-08:00

....seriously....he nails it. I'm going to cut and paste his editorial here (instead of using the link) because years from now, it might be gone.

I blogged about this a few weeks ago; you can find the link here. I'm not the only one who thinks this way; it's good to have validation.

Midway through the article he writes....

And speaking of Obama and the election two years from now, Sarah Palin now says she thinks she can beat him. Maybe she can, but 2012 is a long way off, and there is a nominating process that is intense -- and it takes more than selling a few hundred books in Iowa to win it. Several other serious political players think they can beat her and will wage full-scale political war against her if she tries.

On November 4, I wrote a column under the headline: "Don't underestimate Palin for 2012 run" (I write the columns, not the headlines). It was not a pro- or anti-Palin article but an analysis of the potential candidates for the Republican nomination in 2012.
If I were to title this one, it would be "Sarah, don't overestimate your chances!"

And quit comparing yourself to Ronald Reagan. To paraphrase the late Sen. Lloyd Bentsen's comments to Dan Quayle in the 1988 vice presidential debate: I knew Ronald Reagan, and you're no Ronald Reagan.

You're a media star and a great curiosity. You were plucked out of political obscurity because of the whim of presidential contender John McCain, who didn't know you and made you into an overnight sensation. You performed well for three weeks in the campaign, did better than expected against Joe Biden in the debate and then you self-destructed.

You clearly weren't ready for prime time, but neither was your running mate. After the election, you quit your day job as governor of Alaska with 18 months left in the term and went out and made a fortune making speeches and selling a book.

It was certainly your right, and you're not the first one to cash in on fame. Millions of Americans love you, and I am sure millions more hate you. Unfortunately, that's what happens in politics.
You can be a contender for the Republican nomination in 2012, but you're a long way from being the nominee. You're going to have to beat some very formidable candidates with way more experience and far superior knowledge on issues foreign and domestic. And to rate your chances today, I would put them at "possible" but not "probable." It's an all-uphill battle.

Right now, polls indicate you wouldn't carry your home state of Alaska.

And the Reagan comparisons aren't helping. You might as well compare yourself to Abraham Lincoln or Teddy Roosevelt.

Before President Reagan was your age, he was an international movie and television star, the actor's union president and a spokesman for a major U.S. corporation.

I know you were only 2 when Ronald Reagan was elected by a landslide to the first of two terms as governor of California in 1966, but I would have hoped somewhere along the way through the five colleges you attended that you would have learned a little history. And I can tell you being governor of the most populous state is a lot tougher than being governor of one of the least populous ones.

The year you were born, Ronald Reagan picked up the torch of Barry Goldwater after the debacle of 1964 and carried it proudly forward. He rebuilt the Republican Party after Watergate, the resignation of Richard Nixon and the defeat of Gerald Ford in 1976.

He won two electoral landslides and made the presidency work again after several failed presidencies. He also never quit anything or any job before he was done. And he was a great communicator because he not only made great speeches, he wrote many of them because it was what he believed. People listened to them and were moved by them.

Ms. Palin, serious stuff needs to be accomplished in Washington.

If you want to be a player, go to school and learn the issues. Put smart people around you and listen to them. If you want to be taken seriously, be serious. You've already got your own forum. If you want to be a serious presidential candidate, get to work. If you want to be an imitator of Ronald Reagan, go learn something about him and respect his legacy.

If you want to be a gadfly, just keep doing what you're doing.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ed Rollins.

A blog post a day.....

2010-11-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

Now that I've finally made it to the end of the month, I will miss blogging every day (many of you won't miss my sometimes random and ridiculous posts, for sure)! Some things I wrote were superfluous, some were insightful, some were old memories...some new ones.

I learned that I have a really good life. Don't get me wrong...I don't have a perfect life, but the life I have is really, really good. It is full of a sufficient amount of ups and downs. It is full of daily happenings that keep things interesting. It is full of family and friends who I love. It is fulfilled by a job that I really love. It is enhanced by a pursuit of further schooling. It is advanced by random strokes of creative genius (random and kind of infrequent, I should add).

When I remember to be grateful and focus on the good, the days and weeks go by more smoothly. When I harbor resentment and anger, the days are heavy laden. This month has shifted my blogging to being all about rants and bitches to something a bit more insightful.

I will keep blogging, and hopefully this experience will make my blogging more meaningful (at least to me).

Happy end of November...bring on December!

Peace out!

Slippery Winter Weather Memory

2010-11-29T17:36:00.000-08:00

It's snowed a lot here in the past 8 days or so. I'd say we have accumulated about 18 inches. Yesterday it snowed for a better part of the day, and when we awoke this morning (after shoveling no less than 3 times yesterday), it was time to shovel again. I wandered out at noon time to run a few errands, and I found it to be a bit slick on the streets in our neighborhood as they had not yet been plowed.

I slid (just a bit) as I left the driveway, and for whatever reason, that simple slide reminded me of an incident that happened about 16 years ago when I lived in Peoria.

My friend, Cindy, was living with me for a few months right in the middle of the winter. I was housesitting for some friends who were out of the country on a mission. The house was on the west bluff in Peoria in an old neighborhood that still has cobblestone streets (which must have been a novelty at one point in time but are really now just kind of a pain).

It had ICED in Peoria (which is a curse far worse than snow). A neighbor had come to warn me about just how terrible the streets were. She recommended that if I absolutely had to go out that I get on a main road. She specifically warned me that the cobblestone streets were terribly slick. Does anyone think that this story ends well??

My ride? It was a Mecury Grand Marquis, circa 1987. This thing was a beast. I snagged this picture of the Internet, but it looked just like this. This bad boy guzzled gas and oil, but had a relatively smooth ride. I backed into a car once with it, and I barely even felt it; there was $5000.00 damage to the other lady's car (who didn't yield BTW...when she saw me and I didn't see her!)

My friend, Nathan, called it the "SS Wendy." It was a tank.

So, Cindy and I get in the car to go somewhere inconsequential, and I take a turn onto one of the side streets (which I'd been admonished NOT to do). The tank started sliding, and there was no stopping it. I pop the car in neutral, turn into the curve, pump the breaks and said, "Oh, Sh*%, Oh, Sh*%, Oh, Sh*%, Oh, Sh*%" about 50 times. We were careening right for...wait for it...a yellow VW bug.

I got the car "almost" stopped when we kind of "nudged" it in the bumper. We looked. There was no damage. How ever was I going to back the car off of the bug? Solution? It was so icy that we literally pushed the tank off of the car, spun the car enough to get it pointed in the right direction and drove promptly home.

We still talk about that story to this day. It is amazing that I didn't smash the crap out of that tiny car with the Mercury! Slip, slide and away! I miss the "SS Wendy." It didn't make it out to Utah with me in 1995. It had some unidentifiable electrical problem that caused it to just randomly stop running whilst I was driving down the street.

Be safe out there! If your neighbor warns to you, perhaps you should heed the warning! Peace out!

When to persist and when to throw in the towel....

2010-11-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

I am not a quitter. I typically finish what I begin, and I typically don't begin something unless I intend on finishing. I am a firm believer that the minute you give yourself an "out" that you will probably take it. This applies to all areas of my life.

Some of the biggest battles we've had with our kids revolves around trying to teach them that you make a commitment and stick to it....no matter what it is...from the seemingly small promises to be somewhere at a certain time to the bigger commitments that involve others (like a team sport commitment). Can I tell you that we have had knock down, screaming matches over these kinds of issues?

It usually goes something like this.....

Random Davis Kid (RDK)...."But I don't want to do it anymore"
Wendy: But you committed.
RDK: But I don't like it.
Wendy: Life is hard. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't like because we said we would.
RDK: But you can't "make me."

(This one always is tricky...it is a true statement that I cannot "make" a child do anything. I can, however, make life uncomfortable....)

Wendy: That is true, but if you don't do X, you don't get Y.
RDK...typically motivated by whatever the Y is will begin a negotiation with me.

The things they begin and want to quit are big things....band, a sports team, a type of lesson that we pay for. Lately, I've had several fits with Elle who "doesn't want to do band anymore." This child is SUPER talented on her horn. She plays clarinet, and she's recently (within the last 6 months) picked up the Saxophone. She's diligent, talented and quite good. Stupid teenage distractions get in the way. She wants to drop band to take....wait for it....Teen Living....this class which is essentially a home-ec class all trumped up and modernized. She wants to take it because "all of her friends are taking it."

Yes, you've guessed it, I am guilty of using the cliche about the bridge, jumping off of it...and what all of your other friends may/may not be doing.

This is not the first time that she has wanted to quit band. There are always tears...and always a few months later a shameless declaration from her saying something like, "I love band." Me, trying to withhold any smug look provides reassuring words of pride in her accomplishment. This time, she's been more creative than normal. She's started to figure me out. That's a dangerous position for me to be in.

Tonight she said, "I know you will probably say, 'No,' but will you just listen."
Me: Waiting
Elle: So, you know how I want to drop band. What if I drop band and take Speech and Debate.
Me: I didn't fall for it.

I told her that she could take Speech and Debate next year as a sophomore but that she couldn't drop band.

Anyone else struggle with this? I want her to do what she wants to do, but I want her to finish out a commitment. I also worry that if they "quit" certain things that they will forever regret it. It's a tricky business this parenting game. A few of my kids have already quit activities, and I know that they will regret it someday. *Sigh* To quote and RDK, I can't "make" them.

Bah-hum-bug...

2010-11-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I'm insanely grumpy today. I think it's stress. I have much to do for school, and I have some catching up on some techy things for work. I've so loved my vacation, but it always stinks to get back into the swing of things. Add that to the frenetic pace of the house in the past three days...and you've got "Grumpy Wendy" today.

We planned for a few weeks for a big holiday meal...prepped the house for Thanksgiving, cooked and cleaned....then the day after Thanksgiving, you have to rip all of the Thanksgiving decorations down and get ready to decorate for Christmas. That is the part that makes me really grumpy. I have never been a fan of decorating for Christmas. It's almost too much disruption for my neurosis to keep everything clean and tidy.

We have the tree up and decorated. I left "most" of that to Dom and Elle. The leg lamp is up. In fact, nearly everything is done but one display thing I do. That won't take long...I just need to schlep things up from the basement for it. We still have all of the spent Christmas containers in the living room. I can tolerate them for one more day, but after that, I'll get a little crazy if they are not put back in the garage.

Does anyone else not enjoy the "decorating for Christmas" thing? Or is is just me.

Only three more days of this "blog a day" thing...and you'll not have to read every annoying detail of my life!

Maybe Grumpy Wendy just needs to go to bed early and start again in the morning. Bah-hum-bug.

Day after Thanksgiving......

2010-11-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

On my to-do list...

Sleep in. Fail. I had to get up at 8:00 AM because the cleaning lady came at 8:30 AM (and still doesn't know how to turn of the alarm, BTW...and sent it into a shrill screech. This time, ADT didn't call the cops, though.

Get house clean. Cleaning lady came at 8:30 AM. Check.

Get a massage. BIG Check. My friend, TaLaisa, and I went to my favorite day spa at the mall and indulged. Moms need to do that once in a while.

Lunch out and about. Check. Yummy salads, sandwiches and cookies at Paradise Bakery (while TaLaisa patiently listened to me bitch about my life.)

Nap....getting ready to do that next!!!

Study. I'm in study denial, but I MUST DO some today. I have a "practice comprehesive exam" for the final in this class I hate this term. I haven't had an actual exam since 1997 when I was in the MPA program at the U.

Put up the tree. I will reward myself with this ONLY after I study. (The tree might not be going up until 2 AM at this rate.)

Happy Day After Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Our Thanksgiving Day

2010-11-25T21:56:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year! The food was yummy, the family was all there, the table was beautiful....it was really, really nice. Here are some shots from our day.

Below: Elle beside her beautifully set table.

One of our three beautiful flower arrangements by the world's best florist, Karlie!

Elle used some little (fake) apples with stickers to create place setting "cards."

Just can't get enough pics of beautiful flowers!

Another angle of the table....

I was mostly behind the camera...but in the one pic of me, I'm fondling the milk?

Adam carving the turkey....and can I tell you that the turkey was scrum-diddley-umptious!

The whole gang: Dean, Carrie, Adam, Elle, Elise, Bradley, Mariah, Dominique and Garrett

Ring around the center island...which was laden with the eats...

Elise and Bradley

Garrett and Mariah...just so you know...he is seriously one of the nicest kids...but he doesn't like to smile in pictures! I'll get him next time!

Carrie and Adam...Carrie made her grandma's sweet potatoes and can I say...MEGA YUM!

What a great day! We're so blessed. We ate until we were seriously stuffed. The kids played Wii and watched movies and had a great time. Dean and I went to take a nap, and I paid Elle $20 to clean the kitchen. She's my go-to girl, and she can clean it SPOTLESS. It was a very good day!

I'm so proud of Elle!

2010-11-25T19:32:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember, Elle has been our "go to" person in the kitchen. She loves to learn. She loves to help. And she follows directions to a "T." She also takes great satisfaction in a job well done.

One of the things that she has learned to do over the years is set a beautiful table. Sometimes she'll surprise me on a Sunday evening and set "her table" with pretty dishes, napkins and candles. As part of her Young Women's goals, she did a special project this Thanksgiving. This is what it says in the Young Women's personal progress manual: "Develop a skill you could use in your future home, such as cooking, sewing, making repairs, organizing, or designing. Teach that skill to someone, and explain how establishing a house of order (see D&C 109:8) is one of your divine roles."

I thought, "She's developed homemaking skills, now we just need to "teach that skill to someone." So, I got the idea to do mini-video segments of her planning to decorate the table and executing on the plan.

Here is our video journal. (Sometimes she is difficult to understand...I could get her to slow down OR enunciate...not both at the same time, but for the most part, I think she is understandable).

It is difficult to understand this video. She says, "I have a blank slate" (referencing the table). She says that her first tip is to not take a table from the church unless you have permission from the Bishop (which we did). That's why there was the close up of the "Property of" on the table."

Wasn't that fun!?! I'm so proud of her for all of her hard work and her willingness to do this project. It is not easy for anyone to demo in front of the camera as she did (trust me, I know! I'm a professional presenter!) I'm also proud of how much she learns about things around the house. All of the kids "know" how to clean, for example. (Not that they do it, but they do know how.) They know how to do their laundry. They know how to paint a room. They know how to fix small household appliances.

It sounds so cliche, but "they grow up so fast!" I worry that I haven't taught them enough! Moments like this make me proud that they do "know" how to do things...even if they don't act like it all the time.

Stay tuned for a video blog from Dominique. We taught her how to paint her room this summer....and let's just say that it took more gallons of BRIGHT YELLOW paint than anyone could have ever imagined! She is not nearly as thrilled to do video blogs, but she'll warm up to it!

I am thankful for....

2010-11-24T18:28:00.000-08:00

This was stream of consciousness. I know that I have left many people and things out. Thankfully, I have tomorrow to make right it right! I have so many people, circumstances and things to be thankful for! I am so blessed!

My faith in God
My belief in Christ
My US citizenship
My family
My husband (yes, I know he is family, but he is special family, so I single him out)
(Now that I got the whole God, country, family thing out of the way, I can be more shallow.)
My job
My intellect
My ability to reason
The fact that I can read
Warm blankets and my own bed
HDTV
The Internet
Technology that allows me to work from home
Technology that allows me to stay connected to my kids, friends and family
Three bathrooms in one house
Our home
Our neighbors (at least most of them)
Our vehicles that are running well and are almost paid off
Enough food to eat
Enough food to share with those who don't have quite as much
A beautiful view of the mountains from my master bedroom
Pretty plates that we use only at Thanksgiving
Fresh flower arrangements
Online shopping
McDonald's (yes, I AM thankful for McDonald's...I've been there more than any other single restaurant in my whole life)
Pictures of our family, friends and the most important parts of our life
Pedicures and Massages
My DVR
Dominique's sense of humor
Elle's annoying laugh (because it means she's happy)
Mariah's stubbornness....because it means she's standing her ground for what she believes/thinks
Dean's ability to forgive others, especially me
Bradley's faith (that is most of the time buried deep in him)
The sound of great music
The blessings of the spirit
That I'm unconditionally loved by many
That I know this earthly life is only temporal and that there is a much greater plan for me.

Petition to Ban Samples at Costco

2010-11-23T22:50:00.000-08:00

I seriously can't stand those sample stations at Costco. I think people bring their entire families there to troll the aisles and eat a meal whilst at Costco. I'm at Costco to buy obscene amounts of bulk dry goods for a low cost. I'm not there for your teaspoon of mashed potatoes, your samples of enchiladas, your broken pieces of peanut brittle.

If Costco insists on samples, maybe we can put them all in one special area of the store...where the women with 27 kids in tow can stand in a long line for their meal that consists of whatever Costco is pushing that day.

Perhaps my Costco rant is due to the fact that I typically avoid the store. I either don't go or I send Dean. I have, however, been there twice in less than a week. Maybe I should go back to my once every three month plan.

Security Screening at Airports

2010-11-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

There has been A LOT of attention paid to this lately, so as a frequent flier, I thought I'd chime in. Just to let you know exactly how much I fly....

Delta Million Miler™ Miles: 1,243,040 (total miles flown with Delta)
Miles flown with Delta this year: 102,278 (and I'm not done yet!)

This does not include the over 200,000 miles that I've flown with American, the 50 or so flights I've taken with Southwest and the countless, random flights I've been on with various airlines domestic and foreign. I even have a frequent flier account with Croatia Airlines (no joke)! So, I travel A LOT.

What seems to be at issue are the full body scanners. This technology has been deployed for a few years now in major airports. Some airports have many (like Denver), some airports have only 1 (like Salt Lake); most small airports don't have them at all.

If you have never experienced this, let me tell you what happens. You stand in the middle of a cylindrical machine. You place your arms over your head, and the walls of the cylinder kind of spin around you. The machine takes something between an x-ray and a picture and can see "everything" under your clothes. In the back (somewhere) TSA agents look at the images then give some kind of signal to the TSA agents at the machine to give the "all clear."

What is at issue is the intrusive nature of the image that is generated from the screen. It shows genitalia...fat rolls...all kinds of things that we keep under our clothes for a reason. They "allegedly" fuzz out your face, but who knows!

You DO have the right to refuse this type of full body scan, but the result is a manual pat down. This is where the biggest news stories have been focused.

I traveled before 9/11 and after 9/11. I've been through the entire transformation of the security processes. I remembered when I showed up to the airport 40 minutes before a flight left, threw my computer bag on the security belt and walked through with shoes and a belt on. Not any more. I have been puffed (by freaky puffer machines). I have been swabbed for explosives. I've had to give up liquids over 3 oz in a carry on. I've learned to adapt.

There have been a few times in my travel career where I think an agent (not a TSA agent) has unnecessarily delayed my travel with ridiculous, extreme and over-excessive. Shortly after 9/11 I had a gate agent use additional gate screening as retaliation. (Flight was delayed, and I kept pestering them for answers, not excuses....that woman was fired by Delta Connection after letters from me and several other people...I know because Delta actually wrote and told me that she had been terminated). By and large, though, I've found TSA agents to be professional and the procedures that they must follow to be well executed.

Do I agree with the full body scanners? Not really. I think they are invasive. I think they were implemented because there is still a major concern that the magnetometers are not good enough to detect everything they should be catching. I'm not particularly fond of a stranger looking underneath my clothes; the whole thing kind of creeps me out. And the stuff they see probably creeps them out.

Is there a better way? I think so. I'm not exactly sure what the solution is, though, to be perfectly honest. The machines catch more than just metal. And the unfortunate reality is that we live in a day when idiots do things like try to hide things in their underwear. A woman with a substantive girth like myself can hide things in various and sundry places (not that I would nor do I, but I "could"...sometimes I put stuff in my bra and forget that it's there...money...a boarding pass..whatever is in my hand at the time that I need to put it some where). Remember the Christmas Day bomber? He stuffed bomb-like stuff in his pants and almost successfully blew up his junk.

What about these pat downs? Evasive. No question. Unnecessary? Gosh...maybe the way in which it's being done. But remember, these are folks who chose to opt out of the other form of security screening. They need to look in those sensitive areas...because of the reasons that I mentioned. Do I want to be groped? Absolutely not. Do I want to be safe. Absolutely. Can the practices be re-visited so that we are safe and "handled" appropriately during manual pat-downs...without question.

A possible option for frequent fliers like me....the CLEAR LANE. I have given my iris scans, all ten finger prints, my photo, my SSN and all kinds of other personal and sensitive information to be "cleared" by the TSA to fly in a super quick frequent flier line. I paid for this service. The company went out of business over a year ago, but the data was recently acquired by a new company, and Clear is back. I cannot even tell you how much better this made my security process. I STILL had to go through the screening procedures when the company was under previous ownership. However, I could make a strong case that those who have been "cleared" to travel need only go through the magnetometers...not the full body scan. I've given everything but my DNA, and I wouldn't mind giving that if I could get through security faster.

I'm not saying folks shouldn't be outraged for egregious violations of personal rights, but let's make sure we keep the big picture in mind. We want our planes to be safe. I remind folks that it was a few box cutters and a well orchestrated plan that took down planes on 9/11. If those scan things find a box cutter in a guy's Fruit of the Looms, I'm OK with that.

BOM Challenge

2010-11-21T20:56:00.001-08:00

Today Elle, Dominique and I began reading the Book of Mormon from page 1. As part of their Young Women's goals, they need to read it in its entirety. It's a daunting task. I've read it no less than 7 times from cover to cover. On two occasions, I read it in 7 days. It was about a 3 hour a day commitment, but it was such a sense of accomplishment.

I don't know if you've ever tried to sit down and read the scriptures (any scriptures) from cover to cover, but it's not easy. In the course of my life time, I've read the Old and New Testament in their entirety, but only once have I read the NT from cover to cover.

We were challenged in Stake Conference so just READ the Book of Mormon...not necessarily finish it by February (when we have our next conference). So, since I have three solid weeks of vacation between now and the end of the year (as do the girls), I asked them if they would be up to the challenge. They were a bit hesitant at first, but I threw in a new snuggie for each of us and the promise of hot chocolate during marathon reading sessions. They agreed.

Today we read for TWO and a HALF HOURS....in two separate reading sessions. Do you know how hard that is for a 14 and a 12 year old? We read out loud and take turns. We hit our goal of 40 pages. I'm so proud of them. It won't be easy, but it will be a good goal to work on. I've organized it so that we don't read EVERY day during our vacation. I've broken it into 13 days. Only 12 more to go.

I'm confident that we can meet this goal, and I know that they'll be SO PROUD of themselves when they've done it.

What will you challenge yourself to do? Is there a project that you've been wanting to do? Got a book in you that you've been meaning to write? I'm a big believer that time-sensitive goals are great motivators! Please share if you have any ideas for your next "big thing."

Reasons 78, 79 and 80: Why I hate Wal-mart

2010-11-20T20:11:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I watched the HBO Documentary, "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price." That documentary stopped me cold from ever wanting to step inside another Wal-Mart. If you haven't seen it, Net-flick it.

I've been going to Wal-Mart since I was a kid...like maybe since I was 11 years old or so. My dad lives in Arkansas, and we made MULTIPLE weekly trips to Wal-Mart. Seriously, I knew that store inside, outside, upside down. This was WAY back in the day before there was Wal-Mart in every state, in every major (and many non-major) city in America. I've had my fair share of Wal-Mart experiences. (My mother calls it Wal-Marts for some really annoying reason.)

Since my decision to not patronize Wal-Mart, I've visited there relatively few times. I do, however, send Dean there from time to time...he likes the place and does not share my moral position on Wal-Mart. Today, I wanted some affordable-but-nice goblets for our Thanksgiving table, and we needed some more fluted champagne glasses. (We have sparkling cider at Thanksgiving dinner....this year we have more guests than usual, hence, the need for more glasses).

Elle and I went to Wal-Mart and found the perfect glasses: a set of four for $5.00. We needed three boxes; there were only two. I told Elle to find an employee so we could check and see if they had more in the back. We needed 10 glasses, and we would not buy just 8 if that was all they had.

The first associate Elle found didn't speak English. NICE.

I told her to keep looking. We found a woman close to the glassware aisle, and we asked for her help. She came over, mumbled something then walked away. Elle and I looked at each other with puzzled expressions because we hadn't understood a dang word she said! She came back a minute or so later with a scanner. She was trying to determine if they had the glasses in inventory or not.

She scanned. Nothing. She scanned again. Nothing. She looked at the machine. She shook the machine. She practically stood on her head while using the scanner. Nothing. Then she started saying, "I don't know why it won't scan for me." She left and came back a few minutes later and engaged in the same ineffective scanning technique. I said to Elle, "I'm going to take a short walk; I'll be close by." I needed to walk away or I was going to say something snarky.

The employee had an obvious mental deficiency, and I didn't want to make her more nervous as she tried to figure out what was wrong. When I looped back around, she was still there scanning. I said, "Is there anyone else who you could ask for help?"

She said, "I'm trying my best, ma'am."
Me, "I realize that, but it's not working. Can we ask for someone else to help? Or can you manually punch in the SKU number?"
She said, "Ma'am, I'm trying."
Me, "I'm going to get the manager."

I march over to Customer Service and ask to speak to the store manager. The manager is over in jewelry. I said to the woman, "I've been over in glassware for about 15 minutes while one of your associates has been trying to scan a set of glasses for me. She clearly has a mental deficiency, and that's OK. I just need someone who can help me with the glasses."

Me, being completely unaware....looks up to see the associate standing at the jewelry counter (within earshot) still trying to scan that damn box.....and she has enlisted the help of two jewelry counter ladies to help her. Upon seeing her, I say, "See, there she is, still scanning."

The manager took over from this point and went to the back to get my glasses. She returned, checked the glasses and apologized for the inconvenience. I said, "I don't mean to be disparaging toward your employees, but you might have a training issue there."

Then I went to the ladies room....and TRUST ME, if I can avoid the ladies room at Wal-Mart, I will. I really had to go. I'm minding my business...and doing my business...when a woman sits in a stall next to me, and while relieving herself sighs REALLY, REALLY loudly....like she'd held it in for 27 hours. Good heavens.

As I am finally leaving the restroom, I do my checks. Keys: check. Phone: check. Wallet: GONE. WHAT??? Sometimes when I'm out and about I carry a small wallet with just my ID and a few credit cards. I had put this in my back pocket (other two pockets were occupied with phone and keys). I had lost my wallet in Wal-Mart. Taking a chance, I went back to look in the stall, and there it was....in a pile of bathroomy ick underneath the toilet. Let me tell you...I was just grateful that I hadn't outright lost it.

So, there you have it...my Wal-Mart experience today. Perhaps I've learned my lesson...that it doesn't serve anyone to violate my moral stance against Wal-Mart. I don't plan on going back there for a very, very long time.....(I would say "ever again," but I'm not confident that I won't have a momentary lapse of judgement at some future date.)

If we stopped putting a camera in front of Sarah Palin's face, she wouldn't have a forum anymore...

2010-11-20T08:43:00.000-08:00

Seriously. That woman drives me freaking nuts. She's ramping up for a bid in 2012...there are no two ways about it. Remember how insanely early candidates declared for 2008? Yes, it's started TWO FULL YEARS before the 2012 election.

My favorite interview this week was when she said that she thought she could beat Barack Obama in 2012. What she is NOT considering is that she would actually have to win primaries and WIN the nomination to even get the chance to go against Obama. I don't see that happening. If the Repubs want to WIN, Palin is not the way to do it. She's a novelty...especially among gun-toting, folksy red-necky kind of people....but what the hell does that woman actually "know" about anything.

She quit her term as governor. Classy. That makes me feel confident. She has since then chased the almighty dollar (which in and of itself is not a bad thing, it's just that it's been on SUCH a public forum). She's had book signing gigs, speaking engagements...and a new TV show. She had the audacity to compare herself to Ronald Reagan (the actor/entertainment connection) in an interview I saw several weeks ago. Are you kidding me?

I guarantee that I know more about public policy, domestic policy and foreign policy than Palin does. I guarantee I'm more traveled than she is. I've actually lived in a foreign country...which greatly shaped my world view. I have advanced degrees. I'm not saying "I'm better than Sarah Palin," but I definitely have a depth of experience that she doesn't have. Oh, and lest you think I could never work an audience like she does, then you clearly haven't seen me work an audience ;-)

She's like a kid who is starved for attention. As soon as you quit enabling that behavior, it will stop. I BEG the media...quit giving her air time. She's not ANYTHING. She's not a declared candidate. She's not a current office holder. She's a mom. She gave a bunch of speeches at rallies before the election. She has a show on TLC...so do a bunch of polygamists from Utah county, a few families of "little people" and some over enthusiastic dress sellers. That does not make her worthy to have her face shown on my television nearly every night of the damn week.

If people don't like the job the president is doing, pick a viable candidate: one who could make things better. That is NOT Sarah Palin. I implore you, CUT IT OUT!

I broke my blog....

2010-11-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

Perhaps blogging for 17 days in a row was too much. Perhaps this is technology's way of indicating, "I don't really care what you have to say." Perhaps I can blame it on Portland.

Last night while at PDX enjoying free wireless, I published to my blog. I have done this 168 times before (literally). However, last night, when I clicked on "view" blog, the world was just a bit out of kilter. My columns were not aligning properly (what is supposed to be in the right nav panel is at the bottom on the left but flushed right). I have no idea what caused this, but I'm going to do my best to fix it.

So, this is my boring blog post for tonight. Until tomorrow...